Changing Life
by planeteer-rach
Summary: Lily's sixth year at hogwarts. Involves tears, laughter and fighting for what's right. Begins at the end: A scene between Snape's worst memory and the confrontation outside the portrait hole. Canon, Lily/James if anything.
1. The End

Disclaimer: Obviously none of this belongs to me...blah, blah, blah...

Please review! And in reviews, please tell me how I can improve. Seriously, you won't hurt my feelings if you say my writing's crap!!!

(Have just changed this to past tense, coz it makes a lot more sense! If I've missed anything please let me know!!)

6th March (just barely!): Am going through and editing, thanks to some wonderful feedback from Nynave, Tasha27 and some people on Unknowable Room. Thanks Guys!

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**1. The End**

"Lily. Lily! Would you wait for one minute? LILY!!!"

Through her anger, Lily heard someone calling after her. She thought maybe it was Mary.

"Lily, James sa-"

"James!" The furious red-head spun on her heel. "JAMES!!! He humiliated my best friend! MY BEST FRIEND!! Who just called me a mudblood, A MUDBLOOD!" The entrance hall was silent, staring at her. Her face was nearly as red as her hair, her green eyes shooting sparks, and she was yelling what is generally considered the most offensive word in the wizarding world.

"Lily." It was no more than a whisper. Lily knew that Mary, like all the Gryffindor Girls, refused to speak to Slytherins on principle. But she also knew that Mary, unlike the others, only disliked Snape because she thought that he was using Lily.

"I'm so sorry Lil."

Lily could see Mary's lips moving with soft apologies and sympathies, but she tried not to listen. If she thought about what Sev- She could feel the tears welling, and grabbed desperately for her anger- "And what does he do? What does Potter do? HE ASKS ME OUT! Like he doesn't realise...Like he doesn't care..." Her voice trailed off.

"We were best friends Mary." She was talking about Severus, her lip trembling.

"Quick, we'll go to the dorms! They're coming inside. Lily!"

Lily heard Mary hissing, but she was caught in her thoughts, trapped in memories. She'd known it was coming. Known that they were changing, growing apart, but she didn't realise that the final split would be so abrupt, so painful. "He promised me," her voice broke, turning high pitched, hurt, "he said it didn't matter..."

Mary was tugging her hand, trying to get her to move. And then Professor McGonagall was there, gripping two boys by their robes. Three others were trailing behind. A tear escaped, rolling down Lily's cheek. And then all she could see was Mary's back, stiff and defiant, desperately trying to protect her friend.

Professor McGonagall had, if anything, gone more pale. James was shocked, opening his mouth, no doubt to say something stupid, but it was the look on Severus' face that told Mary that they heard what Lily said. His face was taut, desperate, two spots of colour high on his cheeks. It was his eyes though, that Mary would remember forever. Black. Deep and horrified, his usual mask had completely dropped away.

"No-" The word seemed to break from him without volition. His voice was raw, terrified. "Lily, please."

Lily blinked, as though realising for the first time that she and Mary weren't alone. She looked at Severus, already shaking her head.

"Please. I'm sorry! Li-"

"DON'T" Her eyes were blazing, with fury and tears, but she had her voice under control again. There was no break, no waver, as she swallowed and said softly, "Goodbye Sev."

She walked away. She didn't acknowledge her professor. She didn't respond to Remus' pitying gaze. She didn't even look at Potter, or Black, or Pettigrew. And she didn't look back as Snape called desperately after her. Mary looked back though, and, for the first time, she thought that maybe Severus Snape truly did care for Lily Evans.

* * *

Later that evening Lily was still crying. She clung to Marlene while Mary fetched ice cream from the kitchen-and dinner for the other girls. Lily didn't really want the ice-cream, she couldn't think of anything but the look on Sev's face when he yelled.

Marlene was whispering to her, "It's ok. Lil, it's gonna be ok..." She rubbed soothing circles on Lily's back. "He's not worth it. You knew you couldn't stay friends forever."

Viv went to sit on the bed as well, itching her foot absently. She held Lily's hand, "Lil, he's a Slytherin-"

At this Lily's head shot up. "So? That doesn't make someone bad! You guys are always picking on him!"

"You know that's not what she meant Lil..." Marly kept her voice low, comforting.

Viv showed more of her frustration, "Lily, when are you gonna wake up? His friends are death eaters! He can't wait to join up!"

Lily was shaking her head, trying to make the accusations go away, when Mary arrived in the doorway. She looked unsure, hesitant, running her hand through her hair. "Um, Lil?" She waited for Lily to look at her.

"Lil? Sev's outside."

Marlene was on the attack as soon as she saw Lily's face. "Why won't he just leave her alone? If he really wanted to talk to her he would have come earlier!"

"He says he only just got let out from the teachers. Lily, he says he'll sleep there if he has to, he wants to talk to you."

"I can't." Her voice sounded strange; thin and anguished. "Mary, please?"

"Lil, I think you should talk to him. He seems really upset!!"

Viv piped up again. "Ask him Lil. Go ask him...He won't deny he wants to join You-Know-Who!"

Lily stood up shooting an exasperated look at Vivianne. "Can't you say Voldemort? It's just a bloody name!" Viv looked surprised and hurt. Even in a temper Lily was rarely cruel. Lily sighed. "I'm sorry." She said, "It's just...I don't know if I can forgive him again."

Lily was lost in her thoughts as she walked down the stairs to the common room, Vivianne's words were pulsing through her head. She didn't see the marauders until Sirius called out to her. "Evans!"

"Mmm?" She was hesitant, unsure what they want from her.

"How is it that you forgive Snivellus everything, but you won't give James a chance?"

Lily stared for a second, before going through the portrait-hole; she couldn't think about it then. As she saw Sev, all she could hear were the words in her head; _he wants to join you-know-who, he used dark magic...death-eater-death-eater-death-eater..._


	2. Not in Heaven, Not in Hell

Disclaimer: Clearly not belonging to me...

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**2. Not Quite Heaven, Not Quite Hell**

When Lily saw the tawny Hogwarts owl swooping through the kitchen window, she felt a simultaneous swooping in her stomach. She could remember her careers session from last year perfectly: she knew what marks she needs to work in charms development. She also knew that she didn't get them. Even Petunia, who usually shrieked at the sight of anything remotely magical (including owls) was silent at the look on her little sister's face.

Lily's hands shook as she untied the letter from the owl's outstretched leg:

Lily Evans,  
The Kitchen,  
77 Rosemary Lane,  
Surrey.

She looked upwards and her eyes fluttered closed, half pretending the letter still hasn't arrived, half praying for a miracle.

The small black brochure left in the Gryffindor common room was upstairs on her desk. She didn't need to read it to remember it though, not when it had been stuck on her mirror for the whole 6 months before exams: a reminder.

_**Charms Research in the Department of Mysteries  
**__-Limited information upon request_

_Requirements: _

_OWL's: A minimum of 9 outstanding OWL's._

_NEWT's: _

_Ancient Runes: O  
Arithmancy: O  
Charms: O  
Defence Against the Dark Arts: O  
History of Magic: E or higher  
Potions: E or higher  
Transfiguration: E or higher_

_Other Requirements: _

_-Must be able to perform basic charms without a wand  
-Must understand Ley Line Theory  
-Must have examples of own charm invention  
-Must pass Ministry of Magic psych evaluation_

_Ministry reserves the right to veto any and all candidates,_

Every Gryffindor had picked up the intriguing brochure: its colour alone making it stand out. And every Gryffindor, as soon as they saw the requirements list, had put it back down. All except for Lily. Her eyes had widened considerably as she read the list, but when she gat to the end, they were glinting with determination. Chin up and jaw set she stood, and, in front of her astounded class mates, marched off to request 'limited information'.

Lily Evans had always payed attention in class and had always done most of her homework on time. After her career session though, she changed. If she wasn't in the Great Hall eating, it was a pretty sure bet that she was studying, and not just the course work. She would be found in the library with Severus, their heads close together as they unravelled the art of spell invention. She would sit under the beech tree by the lake, thick tomes, specially borrowed from Professor Flitwick, spread around her. Everyone believed she would achieve her required OWLs (and NEWTs) and they would have been right, except for a single event, the afternoon before her last exam: transfiguration. The same event, in fact, that Lily had been unable to stop thinking about all summer.

"Lily darling? You're pale," Her Mother's voice dragged her back to the present, "You don't have to open it now…"

Lily shook her head hard, missing the anxious glances exchanged by her parents. She ripped open the envelope, oblivious to the fact that her estranged sister was crossing her fingers for her.

_ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS_

_ Pass Grades: Outstanding (O), Exceeds Expectations (E), Acceptable (A)  
Fail Grades: Poor (P), Dreadful (D), Troll (T)_

_LILY ANNABELLE EVANS HAS ACHIEVED:_

_Ancient Runes: O  
Arithmancy: O  
Astronomy: O  
Charms: O  
Defence Against the Dark Arts: O  
Herbology: O  
History of Magic: O  
Potions: O  
Transfiguration: A_

The letter dropped to the ground. Her shoulders slumped momentarily, before she squared them again. "Well!" She flipped her hair. "Who'd wanna be an unspeakable anyway?" Her voice sounded trembly and unreal.

"Oh honey…" Mr Evans eyes, the same green as his daughter's, seemed to see through Lily as he pulled her into a hug. They all knew how badly she wanted this, how excited her letters had become since she had found the brochure. "You know, sometimes these things happen for a reason." His deep voice was soothing, "Maybe you're meant to do something else…"

Lily sniffed. She knew her Dad meant well, but an Acceptable transfiguration OWL wasn't even enough to continue onto NEWT level. And every career choice Lily had considered required NEWT level transfiguration.

"Honestly Lily!" Petunia felt sorry for her sister, but her voice was impatient. "You've spent the last two months saying that you bollocksed your tra-, trans-, that you bollocksed _that_ exam!"

Lily nodded, still in her father's arms. "I know. But, but I still hoped. You know Tuney…" She looked at her sister, red-rimmed eyes pleading. As she moved away from her Dad, she swallowed. How could she have believed, even for a moment, that she still had a chance at that job? Instead of transfiguring her gerbil into a 'romantic gift' she'd somehow managed to make a carnivorous rose-with a lot more thorns than usual, and teeth. And if that wasn't bad enough, the damn thing had bitten her examiner! Not her, not Potter (who's fault it was in the first place!), but Professor Tofty. Really, when Lily thought about it, she was probably lucky to have passed.

"Lily darling? Would you like some breakfast?" Lily looked down at her incredulously. She had discovered, upon her return from Hogwarts, that she was 2cm taller than her Mum. A fact which had delighted her all summer, but which didn't seem to matter to her anymore. "Breakfast?" She finally managed to croak. "No." Then, as Mrs. Evans face fell, "No thanks Mum, I'm just not hungry."

Lily trudged slowly back upstairs to her room. She was _not_ in a hurry to get there- she was dreading the arrival of her friends' owls. Sure enough, when she arrived, she recognised the three birds waiting on her desk. Two were dumped unceremoniously back out her window, the only alteration; 'RETURN TO SENDER' written in red ink across the front. If they thought…if the two boys who's fault all of this was honestly thought that she wanted to hear from them now! Well, they were clearly even battier than she thought.

The third owl was from Mary. Lily reached slowly for the letter, biting her lip.

_Dear Lily,  
__I'm taking the fact that I haven't heard from you as a bad sign. If I'm wrong, and it's just because you're still dancing around the living room in jubilation, please forgive my lack of faith!!_

_BUT! If -as you predicted (you must be sick of being right all the time!!) your transfiguration mark left a little to be desired, talk to someone. After all, sometimes sharing bad news can make you feel better._

_I did ok. O's for Herbology and CoMC, E's for Charms (thanks by the way!), potions and Defence, A's for Astronomy and Divination, a P for Transfiguration and a D for History._

_As you may have guessed, I wouldn't mind getting some revenge on a certain transfiguration teacher either! I say we should sic Remus on her!_

Here Lily burst out laughing. She and Mary had discovered Remus' secret (although he still didn't know it) in third year. And the idea of setting the sweet, gentlemanly (if occasionally cowardly) boy on a teacher, in the hopes of provoking his inner wolf, was simply absurd! Lily turned back to the letter.

_I don't know the marks of the other girls, but we should all catch up soon! It feels like forever since I saw you Lil. Let me know when you're free and we can meet in Diagon Alley for school supplies._

_ All my Love,  
__Mary_

Lily was half smiling as the grabbed ink and parchment and made herself comfortable on her bed. Carefully balancing her newly opened ink bottle, Lily began to write.

_Dearest of Mary's!!!  
__There was very little dancing going on this morning. As we __both__ guessed (it is hateful to be right sometimes!!) it was all transfigurations fault. I got an A. I got O's in everything else, but it doesn't mean much anymore. The worst part is that I can't even be an auror or a healer because Professor McGonagal only takes E students for NEWT level. Ah well! Perhaps I can join you in your some-day book store!?!_

_To be perfectly honest, I'm not really feeling up to seeing anyone yet (although your letter has made me feel considerably better!) but give me a day or two and I'll let you know about Diagon Alley._

_ Always,  
__Lil._

Lily paused, grimacing as she chewed on the end of her quill. It just wasn't the same as a pen! Sometimes she wondered why the wizarding world had to be so goddamn medieval about everything!

She shrugged, dipping once more into the ink and scratching slowly:

_P.S. Congrats on your marks...and I won't take credit for your charms. After all, if it weren't for my overnight crying jaunt your transfig mark would be considerably higher!_


	3. The Beginning

A.N: I have a few questions...does anyone know how to make 'tab' work in the published version?? My formatting keeps getting screwed up! And also, what's the difference between hits and visitors?

Ok, so this is my first ever (and I mean EVER) attempt to write something resembling action. If it leaves you entirely cold, like "this is so boring let's skip to the end" cold, pleeaaaaaaaaaaaaase tell me! I can't improve unless I know I suck. Seriously, do it for the good of all fanfic readers to come after you!!! (And I know I can be a bit cliché...seriously, tell me!!!!)

And it still doesn't belong to me...

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**3. The Beginning**

It was the 31st of August and Lily was thanking Godric that Diagon Alley was open on a Sunday. Sixth Year began the very next day, and suffice to say; she had not done her school shopping with Mary. Lily had spent the last few weeks in her bedroom, ignoring her friends' owls. Her, ordinarily neat and tidy, room was suffering under Lily's depression.

Her Mother, who had not been shopping for Lily's school supplies since second year (Marlene had indignantly declared all four girls 'grown up' at the beginning of third) had been enlisted by the flustered teenager. However, Mrs. Evans was fast running out of patience. "Honestly Lily! How can you not know what books you need? You have the list in front of you!"

"But I don't know!" She wailed. "I don't know what subjects to take, or how many, or...I don't know Mum!" Lily was becoming more and more hysterical.

"For goodness' sake!" snapped the red-faced woman. "Lily, we have three hours before the shops close, and you don't have ANYTHING!" She breathed out heavily, obviously making an effort to control her temper. "Alright. You have three minutes. Three! If you still don't know I'm going home!"

Lily looked at her mother, then sullenly down at the ground.

"Well?" Her mother tapped her foot impatiently.

Lily looked up again, her face contorting strangely. "Oh, sod it all!" Lily finally exclaimed. "Even if I'm not working for the department of mysteries, charm development is what I'm interested in!"

Her mother looked shocked for a moment, before breaking into a grin. "And why wasn't it possible to figure that out three weeks ago?" She asked with a gently raised eyebrow.

Lily smirked, raising her own eyebrow. "Honestly Mum, you know that trick doesn't work on me! I bloody inherited it, didn't I?"

The two laughed-their tension and tempers unravelling as they entered Flourish and Blots. A balding shop assistant smiled kindly at Lily, "Well Miss, of to Hogwarts tomorrow 'ey? Forgotten a book no doubt!"

"Actually sir, I haven't bought any of my books yet" She replied.

"Hmph! Never would have happened in _my_ day." The man, although obviously disapproving, couldn't prevent the corners of his mouth twitching slightly at her sheepish expression. "Well. Whaddaya need then?"

Lily looked down at the booklist that had arrived the same afternoon as (though slightly later than) her OWL results.

"I need, um, Advanc-"

"No, no! Just the subjects dear, and the year; I know the booklists by heart!" He smiled as he spoke, no malice in his words.

"Oh!" Lily smiled, "Then, um, Charms. And, um, Runes, Arithmancy, Potions and Defence." She frowned slightly, glancing at the _Advanced Guide to Transfiguration_ on display. "And History I suppose."

"Alright. Wait here a moment." The man said with a nod, before worming his way through the crowd.

"Mum? Do you mind if I get a few extra books? It's just, the library doesn't have anything practical on wandless magic and-"

"Lily." Her Mother sounded exasperated. "I _always_ buy you extra books. It's almost funny the way you ask every time!"

Lily blushed, shrugging. It was true, in an attempt to understand her new world, Lily read. In first year she had chosen _Hogwarts: a History,_ desperate to know all she could about her new school. Second year she had stumbled across _Genealogy: Why Blood is Important in a Wizard_ and had decided she had better be informed on the issue before taking on those who insisted Blood Status mattered. Those years that Lily went shopping with her friends, her mother had given her extra money. Lily-to the amusement of her friends-also owned _The Rise of a Dark Lord_ (bought so she could better understand the politics surrounding Lord Voldemort) and_ The Beast Within_ (although she wasn't impressed with its declaration that all werewolves were monsters).

"I know. But, after, you know. After last year..." her voice trailed off. At the beginning of fifth year she had been made to return her chosen book. Lily, worried about Sev (and his choice in friends) had chosen _The Dark Arts: Theory and Guide_. It was bound in black leather, even the font looking spiked and dangerous. Upon arriving home Mr. Evans lectured her about making difficult choices. Lily, lifting her chin, had argued that it could all just be prejudice, like werewolves. And shouldn't she make an informed decision? Mrs. Evans had refused to have the book in the house.

Her mother bit her lip, a crease forming between her eyebrows. "I-" she sighed. "I overreacted Lil. I knew you would never do something so wrong. But I was scared. This world we're part of-" she stopped, shaking her head. "This world _you're_ part of, is at war. And it's a war against you; against muggleborns. And Lil, I can't protect you. I don't even know what's going on-"

Lily opened her mouth, but shut it again when her Mum kept talking.

"I know you've explained it darling, but your Dad and I, we don't _know_. Not really. Magic and wands and men in masks...it isn't our world. We watch the news and we an earthquake, or a fire, and we wonder whether it really was...or we see a murder and wonder if the victim went to your school-or if the murderer did." She closed her eyes slowly, as though forcing herself to continue. "I should have let you keep the book. I trust you Lily."

Lily looked at her Mum, at a woman, connected to a world that she couldn't understand, a world that she couldn't protect herself from and knew that her Mum wasn't scared for herself.

Lily couldn't speak. She opened her mouth, but when she tried to force out something, _anything_, she couldn't. There was something in her throat-blocking it. And she knew that even if she pushed, her voice would have come through high-pitched and wavery. Her eyes stung, her head felt bruised, but under it all there was a burning in her stomach-a passion. She had never felt quite like that before.

Lily hugged her mother, her words smothered by their clothes. "I love you Mum." Her voice was high-pitched, her voice wavered. "I love you..."

The sales assistant cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Terribly sorry Miss," he said softly, almost squirming under the pile of books. "I've got them all-did you want to talk in the queue?" He's embarrassed to have interrupted, offering them a small smile. "It's awfully long...the auror protection finishes tonight, so everyone wants to get their shopping done. They're here for the Hogwarts students." He added, seeing their confused looks.

"That's why it's so busy?" Lily asked, "And why all the shops are open?"

He nodded, handing over the books, before moving to help and old woman.

Lily turned, guiding her mother towards the checkout. "It's because of the war," she said, knowing her mother was still confused. "It hadn't really started in first year, and people were still hopeful in second, but we're losing Mum." She looked at her Mum, carefully meeting her eyes. "We can't last much longer-people keep disappearing...even from Diagon Alley."

Her mother nodded, wide eyed. She opened her mouth twice before saying, "I-. I'll queue. Go find your books Honey," she smiled, sadly, "I get the feeling you'll need them.

Lily chewed her lips before nodding and turning away.

* * *

Lily was standing, two books in her arms, and staring, torn, at a third when she heard her mother.

"Lily!"

She twisted, seeing her Mum's arms waving wildly at the front of the queue. The lady at the counter was already paying. Lily looked back at the book: _an Advanced Guide to Transfiguration_. It was a 6th year textbook, but for a class that she wasn't going to be allowed to take.

She could see her mother walking up to the counter, shooting her frustrated looks. Lily sighed. She was good at transfiguration. Maybe not as good as the Marauders (who had somehow mastered every spell before the class) but she would've gotten an O had the circumstances been different. The question was, would she be able to teach herself?

"LILY!"

She jumped. She could see irritation on the face of the shop keeper. She looked at the book, half reaching before pulling back and turning to the checkout. She took a step, glancing back at the book one last time. _I wouldn't have the time,_ she thought,_ NEWT year is meant to be hell anyway_.

"Here!" Lily was slightly out of breath when she reached the counter. The man serving them raised both eyebrows, a sneer on his face that reminded Lily of Sev. She blinked, shaking the thought from her head as she paid.

They left the shop, both laden with parcels. Lily, who was still 16, had not yet come of age in the wizarding world, and so wasn't allowed to magically lighten their load. Under-17 year olds, the Ministry of Magic believed, should only perform magic in life threatening situations.

"An hour and a half Lily! Where next?"

"Oh! Um, I don't...I need more parchment? And a quill. So I guess we should go to Spindledowns?" She looked around, frowning as she spotted the shop. It was covered in large, red posters, all reading: _Closing Down Sale_. If she squinted she could see: _may reopen after the war_ written in small print. Lily's eyes widened at the cheek. To imply that the war would be over (and won by the Ministry) was tantamount to issuing a challenge. It was no wonder the shop was surrounded by aurors, easily recognisable by the white 'SECURITY' emblazoned across the back of their navy robes.

"Oh! Goodness!" Her mother looked shocked. " Are those? Are they the aurors the salesman was talking about?"

"Yeah. They must suspect..." Lily paused, looking around. She froze when she spotted Narcissa black. She had graduated from Hogwarts two years ago, and was dating Lucius Malfoy; presumably the smug looking man standing next to her. Both blondes were staring at Lily and her mother, identical (and ugly) smirks on their faces. "Er, Mum?" Lily didn't want her mother to worry, or to be stuck in the middle of a duel, with no means of protecting herself. "Why don't you fetch my potions ingredients?" She asked, pointing to the apothecary. "We don't have that much time, and you don't know what kind of stationary I need."

Her Mum looked surprised. "Oh. Oh, well, I suppose. But, Honey, I, I don't really know what you need for potions either...I'm sor-"

Lily cut her off. "Don't apologise! I'm the one who didn't say!" Lily hated it when her parents felt bad for being muggles. "Just ask for the 6th year potions ingredients. It's a standard set." She handed her the right money, knowing that the odd coins confused her. "And I'll meet you out the front of the apothecary. Ok?"

"Relax Lil...you're the _child_, remember?" Her Mum, Lily noticed, looked more amused than annoyed as she walked away.

Lily glanced around, looking for two white-blonde heads amongst the crowd, unsurprised to find them still looking at her. Let them follow her, she thought, scowling as she headed towards the shop. She was more than a match for Narcissa-everyone knew she was the least talented of the Black Sisters. And from what Lily had heard, Lucius was too easily distracted to be a good dueller.

"Sir?" Lily had collected her quills and ink, and had approached the counter. "Could I get 200 feet of parchment please?" It was amazing really, she thought as he rolled parchment with his wand, the sheer volume that she used. Bloody wizards! They could do magic, but exercise books and ball point pens were beyond them! She honestly found it bewildering.

"Is that the lot then Miss?"

Lilly nodded, unloading her other selections onto the counter.

"4 galleons and 3 sickles."

She paid him, absentmindedly adding a smile and a farewell as she left the store. She scuffed a rock out of the way as she walked to the apothecary, still contemplating her lack of exercise books. In her early Hogwarts years she'd been too busy trying to fit in to dare take something so obviously muggle to school. Really though, what could the Professors say? And, she thought triumphantly, it'd be a right slap in the face to Voldemort and his pureblood nonsense if it caught on.

She grinned, hurrying her pace towards where her mother would be waiting. Not that they'd needed to separate in the end, she acknowledged wryly as she glanced around the doorway. Seeing nothing but a scared looking rabbit and an oddly shaped parcel, she shrugged, entering the shop. Her smile disappeared as she scanned inside just as fruitlessly. She spun sharply, pulling her wand as she exited, stretching onto tiptoe to see into the crowd. Searching for a flash of red hair, she didn't notice anyone behind her until she felt their wand digging into her back. She froze, then kept searching, looking for one of the aurors.

"Well, well, well..." Lily felt her skin crawl at the man's voice. "Looks like I've caught myself a mudblood!" He sounded oddly delighted, not at all worried by the fact that the alley was swarming with law enforcement.

Lily's eyes locked with a thin man, dressed in a distinctive security robe. His eyes widened as they saw the man behind her, clearly realising that something wasn't right.

"If you want to see your muggle mother again you'll do what I tell you, alright darling?" His accent was snobbish. Even when threatening her, his voice sounded courteous. Lily bit her lip, she could see the unknown auror moving towards them, signalling to others, but she knew that if her attacker noticed, he would apparate, and her mother- She shook her head, her back stiffening.

"No? You don't want to see your Mum?" She could feel his wand relaxing slightly. "Tsk tsk...clearly Gryffindor bravery is-"

Lily spun, her silent _protego _forming a shield before he could react. He was wearing black robes, not entirely dissimilar to her Hogwarts ones, but he was also wearing a mask. Even as he laughed, Lily caught herself about to look around-Death Eaters attack in groups.

"You leave my Mum out of this!" Her wand was trained on the man, who still didn't show any fear. His laughter cut off abruptly as he pointed his wand at the rabbit she had noticed earlier.

"Oh, I don't think so..." His voice was soft, menacingly polite.

Lily was frozen, unable to process the fact that the rabbit, the RABBIT, was her mother.

"Now what will the mudblood do, hmm? _Avada Ke-"_

Two red beams of light came from the side, stunning the man into silence. The thin auror ran towards her, his friend began to cast precautionary spells on their captive. Lily, still numb, catalogued them automatically: ropes, silencing charm, an-. She looked up confused. There had only been two charms. The second auror was young, and vaguely familiar, perhaps he once went to Hogwarts.

"Anti-disapparation jinx." She said it loudly, trying to make sure he could hear it over the crowd's panicked sounds. He jumped, blushing as he cast the last spell.

The first auror, who had already begun to look for other death eaters, turned back to Lily in surprise. She was looking at the rabbit again, wand raised tentatively. Human-animal transfiguration was, she knew, NEWT level. She didn't know how to turn her mother back.

"My name's Crouch. Bartemius Crouch."

Lily ignored the auror's outstretched hand. "My mother," She pointed at the rabbit. It had moved considerably closer to her feet. "Please? I-, I don't know how..." She looked pleadingly at the two men. The young auror flicked his wand, immediately changing her mother back. Lily moved to support her Mum, continuing to ignore the speculative looks of Mr Crouch.

The younger auror smiled tentatively. "I think I remember you from Hogwarts...I don't suppose you can apparate?"

"A-, Apparate? No, I-. No."

"That's fine. Go to Flourish and Blots, they have a floo connection. Stay Alert!" And then he was gone, running forward to engage another death eater.

Lily grabbed her mother's hand, dragging her to the bookshop. She hadn't noticed when Crouch left, had barely even noticed the arrival of the other death eaters.

"Mum! Hurry up!" She could see Bellatrix Black-Lestrange now, her mind corrected automatically-standing in the doorway, shooing people away. Lily bit her lip. She didn't doubt that the floo was working, but she didn't know if she could take down the craziest (and cleverest) Black. She turned to her Mum, spinning back immediately as she heard a toddler scream. He'd been thrown backwards by a lazy flick of Bella's wand. Another boy, also a red-head, ran to his side. Lily could see his mouth moving, chanting some litany that she couldn't hear.

Lily's Mum twitched, almost convulsively, as Bella prepared to cast another spell, drawing Lily's attention back to the wand.

"Oi!" Lily didn't think it through. She _needed_ to stop the murder of the two brothers with her hair. Bella turned, delight at another opponent lighting up her beautiful face. Lily couldn't think. Her wand was up, but instead of spells all that came out was a whisper, "Stupid, stupid, stu-"

"Lily!" Her mother woke her up.

"Go! Mum, grab the boys, take them to the shop! I'll, I'll distract...GO!"

Lily faced Bella, who had watched the scene with visible amusement. Her heavily lidded eyes danced as she raised her wand. "Ready?"

Lily set her jaw. "_Stupef-" _She didn't even finish her spell before it had been blocked.

"Goodness," Bella shook her head in mock disappointment. "Can't you do silent spells yet? _Sectumsempra_!" She slashed Lily's cheek, the blood spattering onto her robes. Lily's Mum, crouched over the boys by then, jumped to her feet. She didn't need to.

Lily slowly raised one hand to her bloody cheek. She knew that spell. She had seen it once, working with Sev in the library. He had been reading ahead in potions, and it had been scrawled in the margin of his book. _This_ was what had taken her friend.

Lily's wand slashed, sparking and silent. Bella dodged, retaliating. Spells flashed, burnt. "The pain was a mistake Bella!" Lily was taunting her on purpose. There was always a calm voice in her mind when she duelled, one that sounded like Sev. She needed to make her lose control.

"You should have taken the opportunity to finish me!" Lily dodged an _Avada_, blocking another curse. "_Stupefy, tantellegra, reducto" _Lily sent a barrage of spells, all verbal, concentrating on moving Bella out of the doorway.

Bella moved, laughing towards Lily. "Is that all you've-"

Lily's silent stunner hit her in the chest.

_Blacks were all the same_, Lily thought grinning; _all you have to do is distract them._


	4. Shocked Insanity

A/N: Ok, well. I'm not getting **any** reviews and it makes me kinda sad…I'm not even really sure that anyone's reading this.

I think that if I don't get any for this chapter, I'll stop and write my own fic (i.e. not fanfic). Sorry, I know people read without reviewing (God knows I do it!) but the point of writing this instead of original stuff is that people can tell me how to improve. So please, please, please review! Flame me! I won't mind!!!!

Anyway! I reread the last chapter, and I thought what the hell? As if 5th years can beat adults. But the kids in the real books do it, and win. And my theory is that Bella isn't as good yet…or as crazy before Azkaban.

So! I hope it's not too unrealistic, and sorry that this chapter is short! For some reason it didn't want to be long.

Rach

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**4. Shocked Insanity**

**Lily entered Flourish and Blots, half expecting her mother to have already gone home. Instead, she found her peering anxiously out a window, holding back the elder of the two boys. The younger one was still unconscious.**

"What's going on? We need to get out of here!"

Her Mum shrugged. "Bill here," She pointed to the older boy, "says that he has to wait for his Mum. I wasn't going to leave them."

Lily stared. "The other one? Is he…?"

"Charlie." Bill piped up. "His name's Charlie. Mummy will fix him, but she's still out there somewhere."

Lily looked at him, shocked. He couldn't have been more than 5, and yet the only sign of his fear was the way he said 'Mummy'. "Does your Mummy know that you're in here?" She watched him as she knelt by Charlie. He had a pulse, and was breathing, so she decided to wait. They had covered healing charms briefly last year, but she hadn't studies diagnostic ones. "Bill!" Lily had noticed his attention was back out the window. "Does your Mummy know that you're here?"

"No." It was soft, only a whisper.

He looked so sad, so lost, that Lily automatically softened her tone. "What did she say to you, Honey?" Lily added her Mother's pet name on the end unconsciously.

Bill started crying; great, wailing sobs, like only children can. "Sh-, She, She said, 'Take care of Charlie, go home'."

"OK," Lily moved over and hugged Bill. Her Mother was still watching the battle. "It's ok honey. We-"

"No!" Bill wiped his nose on his sleeve. "The man taking us to the fireplace got hit by a spell. And Charlie-" Bill started crying again.

"Sh...Sh." Lily rubbed soothing circles on his back. "We'll get you home. Tell me where you live..."

He sniffed. "I'm not meant to tell strangers." His lip wobbled, scared. "But you're pretty. My Nuncle Gid says it's ok to tell pretty girls..." His face was a picture of confusion.

Lily laughed. She couldn't help it.

Bill brightened considerably. "And my Mum always laughs. I live," He leant forward to whisper in her ear, "I live in The Burrow."

Lily looked at him for a moment, then nodded sharply. "Are we still clear Mum?" At her Mother's nod, she stood, still holding Bill's hand. "Alright. Bill, I want Charlie to go first, with my Mum, ok? And then I'll go with you."

Bill nodded slowly, watching warily as Lily's Mum scooped Charlie up into her arms.

Lily quickly shrunk their parcels, sticking them into her pocket. "OK!" She grabbed a handful of floo powder from the box on the mantle. "Mum, when I chuck this into the fire, you have to stand in it, and say 'The Burrow'"

"The Burrow?"

"Yes! Say it clearly, ok?" Lily, worried that her Mother would be lost at an unknown grate, opened her mouth again.

"I've got it Lily. 'The Burrow', clearly!"

Lily blushed, nodding as she tossed the powder onto the flames.

Her Mum clenched her jaw before stepping firmly into the emerald flames. "The Burrow!" She disappeared.

Lily squeezed Bill's hand tightly, glancing around the wrecked shop one last time. "Rea-" Her eyes caught on the knocked over transfiguration display. She looked at Bill, and the fire, but all she could see was a rabbit; a rabbit that she couldn't fix.

Her eyes flicked outside, widening as she saw a death eater bending over Bella. She looked at Bill, seeing his confusion. "Alright, hang on a sec." She moved quickly to the mess, stepping around piles of books. She picked the 6th year transfiguration text up off the floor and turned.

Bella was standing slowly outside, and pointing towards the shop.

Lily jumped over the books on the floor, thrusting her book at Bill, barely giving him a chance to grab it. Her other hand scrabbled for the floo powder, scooping it out, and tossing it into the fire in the same motion. She grabbed Bill, hoisting him onto her hip, and stepping into the flames as the door opened.

Lily froze, staring at the death eater as he raised his wand. She was about to die; she was about to die for a _book_!

"The Burrow!"

And then she was spinning, faster and faster and faster, Bill's childish voice echoing above the roar of the fire.

* * *

Lily fell out of the fireplace, onto a grotty looking rug. She felt like she was going to throw up.

Bill, who had landed beside her, dropped her book on her head. "Wow!" He seemed to have perked up upon arriving home. "I think it makes you feel more sick when there are two of you!"

Lily pushed herself up with a groan, stopping short when she saw a red-headed man pointing a wand at her face. "Oh for fuck's sake!" She exclaimed, flopping back onto the carpet. "Would you people stop pointing sticks at me!"

The man stared at her as though she'd gone mad. A second, identical man, began to laugh.

She peered up from the floor. "Seriously. I've had a long day. You're not death eaters are you? Coz I've already- Bill!"

Lily stumbled to her feet, looking for her wand as Bill threw himself into the man's arms.

"No!" He cried joyfully, "This is Nuncle Fabian!"

Lily hesitated, her fingers momentarily pausing in their frantic search. The man had dropped his wand in order to catch Bill. " Nuncle Fabian?" She asked smiling, then, suddenly remembering, "Where's Charlie? And my Mum?" Her fingers resumed their scramble, brushing the end of a wand. Before she could pick it up she was shoved up against a wall, her head knocking back against it. Her cheek began bleeding again.

The second man, who Lily guessed was 'Nuncle Gid', had moved without her noticing. He had one hand holding her neck to the wall, the other holding his wand to her neck. "Who are you?" He growled.

Lily felt a frission of fear as she looked into his eyes. "L-, Li-"

"Well?" Gideon shook her slightly, his face close to her own.

"Lily Evans." She squeaked finally.

Bill was frowning. "Did you fix Charlie?"

"Sh." Fabian hushed hi nephew, turning to his twin. "How did she know how to come here? She must be-"

"Oh!" Bill was talking again. "I tol-"

"Quiet!" Gideon snapped. His wand jabbed harder into her neck. "How did you know the floo address? What have you done with Molly?"

Lily opened her mouth, trying to explain, but her vision was going dark. She blinked, trying to clear it.

"Nuncle Gid!"

"Bill! Shut up! She's a death-"

"But I told her! Nuncle Gid?" His voice shrank as both men turned their glares on him.

"You _told_ her! How many times has your mother said? You don't talk to strangers!" Fabian was yelling now, releasing some of his fear.

Lily felt Gideon release his hold on her; she slumped back, sliding slowly down the wall. The black spots were dancing in front of her, pulling her into dizziness. The last thing she heard was Bill trying earnestly to defend himself.

"But she's _pretty_! Nuncle Gid, you always..."

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Lily awoke, shrieking, to the looming face of one of the twins. "Wha-"

"Hush love. Apparently you're too pretty to be a death eater! So we're looking after you. I'm Fabian, Fabian Prewett."

Lily, still leaning back, away from Fabian, smiled. "I'm Lily. Sorry, but is Charlie alright? And my Mum?" She began to sit up.

"Your Mum is fine; in the other room making tea, I believe. Charlie's gone to St Mungo's. The healers say he'll be fine, and Bill and Gid are there with him; Molly too."

"Oh."

Fabian had moved away as Lily sat up, but now he approached again. "What happened to your face? Your Mum said you were fighting someone?"

"Bella."

"Be-? Oh! Bella Black? Blimey. I was keen on her sister at Hogwarts."

"You liked Cissy?" Lily was astonished; the man in front of her looked in his mid-twenties.

"Nah!" He laughed, half horrified. "I liked Andy. She was far more, well, normal! Married now though, and I've heard she's got a kid. Anyway," He winked at her, "I've moved on!"

Lily laughed, raising a hand to feel her cheek. She was surprised to find it bandaged. "Can't you heal it?"

"No. That's serious dark magic you got hit with! Don't suppose you remember the spell?" Fabian asked absently. It was clear, Lily thought, that he was asking automatically, not because he thought she might have remembered it.

"Sectumsempra." Lily raised an eyebrow, daring him to admit he'd misjudged her.

"Oh, I, uh, I thought...Well, sorry. I still don't know how to heal it."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, until Lily's Mum bustled in with a tray.

"Oh! You're awake darling! Tea?"

Lily shook her head mutely, blinking as a wave of tiredness hit her. "What time is it?"

"Hmm? Oh, around 9 I think. You slept all night."

Lily stared at her Mum. "All night?" Her voice cracked. "Mum! The train...it goes at 11!" Lily staggered up. "My things!"

Fabian pushed her back down. "Relax!" He pointed to a trunk in the middle of the room. "Gid took your Mum back to your place."

Lily blinked up at the two of them. "But Dad? And Tuney? I didn't-"

"They're meeting us at the station love. I didn't know what you wanted, so if you owl us, we can send other things, and-"

"Exercise books?" Lily, having opened the trunk, was incredulous. She looked up at her blushing Mother.

"Oh, I know you use parchment darling, but you didn't have any at home, and...well, I can get more at Diagon Alley when I get your books-"

"Mum! First, you are not going to Diagon Alley without me. Ever!" Her mother opened her mouth to argue, but Lily kept talking. "Second, I don't need more books." She pulled the miniature packages from her pocket. "I don't know what happened to my wand...but all my stuff is here. And third," By this time, Fabian was looking between the two of them, bewildered. "I wanted exercise books Mum. I laughed because you read my mind."

Her Mother nodded once, smiling. "I'll get your wand."

Fabian was watching her carefully. "You should change your clothes. It's a long drive to London, but you can sleep in the taxi." He stood, making his way to the door.

"Fabian? Thank you. And I'm sorry about Charlie..."

Fabian stopped at the doorway, shaking his head. "I heard the full story from your Mum. You saved _both_ the boys." He smiled. "You're something special Lily Evans."


	5. A Journey

Ok, so I got one review (Thankyou!!)...which means I'm still writing this. But seriously, I'm getting hits, and 1 review?? Honestly, even if you read it and were like, 'Oh my God, I hope she _stops_ writing', tell me!!!! I've been thinking about the Bella thing more, and I think it's too much. I haven't set up the war as being that big a deal yet. I'm too lazy to go back and change it now, but I'll do it eventually. Maybe! :) Anyway, here's chapter 5! Hope you guys enjoy!

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**5. A Journey**

Lily slept all the way from The Burrow to the train station, her Mum waking her up when they arrived. Lily sleepily tugged her trunk from the taxi while her mother paid. "Alright, Snitch," she muttered softly, "don't draw attention to yourself!"

The golden bird hooted softly in acknowledgement, tucking his head under is wing. Lily smiled tiredly at her owl and began dragging her luggage to platform 9 and ¾.

"Petunia and your Dad are meeting us between platform 9 and 10…you know how your sister hates to go through the barrier, Honey."

Lily nodded ruefully. Her Petunia didn't have a problem with the barrier as such; she had a problem with magic.

""Lily! Rose!" her father waved enthusiastically. Petunia was leaning tentatively against a brick wall, as though it too could transport her to a magical platform. She flicked her blonde perm over her shoulder silently.

Lily and her mother approached them, Lily wrestling her trolley to a stop.

"Good thing you made it Lil. The train leaves in seven minutes." Her Dad's voice was calm, slow even when they had no time.

Lily looked blankly at him for a moment, still rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"What!" Her Mum, on the other hand, was a firm believer in squawking when running late. "Quick! Quick! Say goodbye to your sister! Quick!"

Lily smiled tentatively at Petunia, half opening her arms for a hug-

"Bye Lily." Petunia didn't move as she spoke, both eyes firmly fixed on Snitch.

Lily's arms fell back to her sides, her smile fading. "Fine." She turned to her Mum. "Listen, Mum-"

"And your Father! Quick!"

Her Dad pulled Lily into a tight hug, crushing her wounded cheek into his shoulder. She noticed his eyes glistening as her Mum tugged her back.

"Three minutes Lily! Quick now!" She was pushing her daughter towards the barrier, unaware of Lily's struggles with her trolley, unaware of the freshly bloodied bandage.

Lily could see the brick wall looming as her mother gave her a last shove in the right direction. She passed through the barrier, the Hogwarts Express appearing suddenly in front of her. She tugged at her trolley, trying to turn, to stop herself from crashing. The front left wheel refused to cooperate.

The screech of metal on metal was echoed by Snitch. He flapped his wings, obviously disgruntled. Lily didn't try to hush him. She was staring, horrified at the silver scratch now adorning the scarlet engine.

"Oi! Evans!"

Lily sighed, resting her forehead gently against the side of the train. "Potter."

He smirked as the guards began shutting doors. "Cutting it mighty fine tody, aren't we?"

Lily finally looked up at him as he lifted her trunk on board. "None of your business."

James Potter was obviously amused at her lousy retort. He turned, hand freezing mid-hair ruffle as he saw her cheek. The train began to hum, emitting puffs of smoke as the two stood frozen.

"Prongs!" Sirius Black's head stuck itself out the doorway, breaking them loose.

Potter started, reaching down to offer Lily a hand. She grabbed it, jumping aboard as the train began to move. Exhausted from the ten minutes of activity, Lily sagged against a wall. When she finally looked up, the train was fast leaving London behind, and there were four boys peering concernedly at her.

Lily forced a smile. "Prefect meeting Remus?"

The boys continued looking at her in silence, glancing occasionally at each other. Lily's temper was already fraying when another compartment door opened. The sight of the greasy boy that entered the corridor had always given Lily a warm rush, but that day she burned with anger. Her eyes narrowed, much (though she'd never admit it) in the same way as Black's did.

"Lily-"

"How can you look at me?" she asked, her voice deceptively soft. "How can you bear it Sev?"

Black and Potter looked at each other, exchanging some silent communication. They remained still, only their hands moving to rest on their wands.

"Lily? I don't underst-"

She stepped forward, abandoning the support of the wall, and also turning to face her old friend. She held her head high, making sure he could see her wounded cheek. Much like Potter earlier, he couldn't pull his eyes away.

"You don't understand? Do you often swap spells with Bellatrix Lestrange then?" Lily felt Sirius stiffen behind her, but her concentration was on Sev. Lily watched, half jubilant, half disgusted as he blanched. She pulled off her sodden bandage. The wound hadn't scabbed over.

Sev's fingers twitched towards his wand. "I-, I can, Lily, I can heal it." He looked pleadingly at her, willing her to give him another chance.

She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. "How can I trust you Sev?"

His black eyes glittered, "Please. Please! I wouldn't hurt you…"

"But you already have." She shook her head again, tears and blood mingling on her face. "Tell me the charm."

He looked as though she'd slapped him. "I-" He licked his lips. "It's in my trunk." He scuttled into his compartment, returning almost immediately with a scroll of parchment. He thrust it at Lily, opening his mouth to say something, but she turned away before he had the chance. Lily watched as his window reflection shuffled, shoulders slumped, back to his friends.

It was only after the door had closed that she looked at the four marauders. Sirius was standing stony faced, staring at the ground. The other three were glancing nervously between him and Lily.

"Black." Tiredness had leaked into her voice.

He raised his eyes slowly. He looked older than Lily had ever seen him. In that moment he was not a laughing 16 year old, Lily thought, like a man being judged for something he didn't do.

"Lily-" His croak was quickly interrupted.

"Lily, Sirius hates his family!" Potter had his hands up, seemingly unsure which of them to hold back. "I swear-"

Lily took a deep breath, ignoring him. "Sirius," He stared at her, like a dog expecting to be kicked.

"No! Lily-"

"Shut up Potter!" She turned to glare at him. "I know he hates his family. I know he doesn't care about blood. Just shut up and let me speak!" She turned back to Sirius, "I wanted to thank you."

His head shot up. "Wha-?"

"For, well, for duelling with me so often." She half-smiled, asking him to laugh with her. He just stared. "I- I'm not crazy, I just…I only beat Bella because of-"

"You beat Bella!?!"

"Potter! Look at your friends! Do you see _them_ interrupting?"

"No…"

"So SHUT UP!"

She turned back to Sirius. This conversation was not going as she'd imagined. She swallowed. "I only beat Bella because I've fought you so often. You're different in all the ways that matter, but you fight the same."

Sirius jerked, protesting.

"Sirius," Lily reached over, putting a hand on his forearm, "you saved my life. You saved my Mum's life. And you saved the lives of two little boys…"

There was silence for a moment, and then Sirius smiled. Shaking his head, as though shaking the serious moment away, he looked himself again. "Does that mean you'll go out with Prongs then?"

Slightly irritated, Lily couldn't help but laugh at the question. The use of nicknames, she knew, meant that all serious conversation was over. "I don't think so." She turned to Remus, proffering the roll of parchment. "Don't suppose you'd heal me before we go to the meeting?"

"Uh…" He looked uncomfortably at his friends. "Well…"

"Oh, forget it!" Lily snapped. Unfailingly courteous, Remus Lupin had managed to hold her at arms length for over a year. Despite her best attempts, their conversations during rounds had never progressed further than class work.

Lily shook the thoughts irritably away as she read the now crumpled scroll. She twitched her wand from her sleeve, smiling apologetically at Peter when he flinched.

Carefully tracing the wound she chanted the slightly altered healing charm three times. Lily grinned as the sting disappeared; magic truly was a wonderful thing!

Floating her trunk ahead of her she nodded at the boys. "Peter. Black, Potter, Lupin." She made eye contact with all of them, noting Remus' shock with a vindictive pleasure. She turned, moving to a compartment further along the carriage-her friends always sat in the same place.

Sure enough, a hail of greetings met her as she opened the door.

"Lily!"

"Lil!"

"Snitch!"

Lily's carefully constructed look of amused disdain faltered. Mary threw herself at the preening owl. Three seconds later the shocked silence gave way to laughter.

"I- I can't breathe!" Marly's face was red, her words interspersed with snorting giggles. Mary, laughing at her own wit and Marly's inelegance leaned on Lily in an attempt to stay upright. Unfortunately, the extra weight, combined with Lily's own laughter, caused her to stagger slightly forward, tripping over her trunk.

Dead silence filed the cabin until; "Oh, my, Merlin!" Viv gesticulated wildly, only half in control of her arms. Giggles filled the room. "Your face! Oh Lil!" And they were off. Hysterically laughing like only good friends can.

"Excuse me?" A familiar looking boy stood in the doorway, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Um, Lily Evans?" His eyes travelled from Marly, red-faced, to Vivianne, who had her hands covering her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter, down to Mary and Lily, clinging together on the floor. He fixed his eyes firmly to the wall. "Amanda sent me. You're late for-"

"Oh! Bugger!" Lily scrambled to her feet, "I forgot the prefect's meting!"

"Er…" The blonde boy nodded helplessly. "Amanda said they were waiting for you. And Remus said you were mad at…well, he asked me to come." He turned as Lily grabbed her wand from where it had fallen and barrelled into the corridor. He followed, laughter breaking out again as soon as the door was closed.

"It's Alex, right? Lily asked, continuing when he nodded. "I guess you're one of our 5th year prefects then!" She smiled at him, trying without to success to stop her face being so red.

They were in the next carriage when Alex spoke. "So, what were you guys laughing at then?" He looked nervous, though whether he thought she was impressive or insane Lily didn't know.

"Oh, well…you know, it actually wasn't that funny." She paused frowning. Lily laughed at the disbelieving look on his face. "No, really. I walked into the carriage, and my friends were all there already because I was late. And well, one of them said hello to my owl." Lily chuckled awkwardly. "And then, you know, one person finds something funny, and you laugh at them laughing…and I tripped over my trunk…" She looked at him hopefully, the two of them stopped at the door to the prefect's compartment.

He grinned suddenly, lighting up his face. "Are you going to tell them the same thing?" he asked, opening the door.

Lily peered cautiously into the room, feeling her blush return. She was suddenly conscious of her muggle clothes and her dishevelled hair. The other prefects were a sombre bundle of black, their house emblems the only real colour.

"Sorry I'm late. I completely forgot." She looked nervously at the two heads.

The new head girl, a 7th year Ravenclaw, sniffed. Amanda had disliked Lily for years; she thought that Lily didn't take the rules seriously enough.

Bertram, smiled at Lily. "No worries Lil, it happens to the best of us." As she sat down Lily caught sight of his head badge, pinned next to the Badger on his robes.

Incredibly grateful her face was returning to normal colour, she resolved to pay absolute attention. 20 minutes late she was staring, glassy eyed, as Amanda went on and on about the importance of curfews in troubled times. Lily didn't notice when they were dismissed, starting when she saw the other prefects leaving. She stood quickly, grimacing apologetically as Alex caught her falling chair. "Sorry!"

"No worries…am I going to have to escort you back to your carriage?" He smiled lazily, "To make sure you arrive in one piece?"

She laughed. There was an easy teasing already between them: the beginning of a friendship.

"Not necessary." Remus appeared between them, smiling politely. "I have to talk to Lily about, um, classes."

Lily stiffened then sighed. She nodded, "I'll see you later Alex!"

Remus as silent as they walked to their compartments, there was no comradarie between them. He waited until they were well clear of the others before speaking, "Lily, about before-"

She interrupted, resigned. "Forget it Remus. It's not like we've ever actually been friends." He opened his mouth to respond, but whether it was to confirm or deny her statement Lily would never know; she cut him off before he could speak. "So what did I miss in the meeting? I kinda zoned out!"

Remus hesitated, before shrugging and allowing the subject change. "Not much. Something about a monthly patrol schedule. The teachers will patrol for the first week. And we have until Wednesday to tell them any dates we'll be…indisposed." He offered her a wry smile. "Otherwise it's just like last year. Let them know if you're sick and all that."

Lily hesitated outside her compartment. He looked sad. Biting her lip, one hand on the door she said softly, "I can't force you to let me in Remus." And then she left him, standing torn in the corridor.


	6. Arrival

A/N: I'd just like to give a really big thank to all those who have reviewed…Nynayve, Tasha27 and all of those other, encouraging reviewers. (There were others, but I don't know your names…your reviews were anonymous, but still hugely appreciated!)

Disclaimer: Obviously not J K Rowling..!

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**6. Arrival**

The rest of the train trip went by quickly, filled with the discussion of marks and the sharing of gossip. Lily, who didn't get The Daily Prophet at home (daily owls weren't encouraged by her sister), was horrified to hear that three Hogwarts students had been killed over summer. She hadn't been particularly close to any of them, but the fact that Voldemort was killing children…

"Well," Viv said matter-of-factly as they climbed into a carriage at Hogsmeade, "you can see why so many kids didn't come back."

Lily nodded, still looking stunned from the other girls' revelations. The train had been only half full, huge numbers of students being kept home by their parents.

Marly shook her head defiantly. "_I_ can't see it! My Mum wanted to keep me home…to keep the family together, you know. But I refused-"

"Marly!"

"I had no idea!"

"Why? Your parents-"

Marly shrugged at Vivianne. "I know. They're trying to do what's best for the family. But Viv, I have to learn…to have a chance at surviving, I have to learn…"

Viv frowned. "But they won't come after you…Lily and I, we're muggleborn, but you're a pureblood. Your family would be safe."

Lily looked at her friend in surprise. "He's a monster. He won't stop at muggleborns Viv. How could…aren't you going to fight?"

Vivianne looked at the floor. "I don't know. I- I'd like to think I will, but I'm not brave like you, like any of you guys are…" She looked pleadingly at her friends.

In first year, Lily and Vivianne had been inseparable. They were the only muggleborns in the year; no others had wanted to enter a world at war. It was no surprise to anyone that they were both sorted into Gryffindor.

"I don't understand Viv." They had drifted apart later. Vivianne bravely stood up _for_ Gryffindor, to anyone who insulted it. Lily bravely stood up _to_ Gryffindor, for something deeper. That one small word exchanged for another, made all the difference in the world.

"You're a Gryffindor," Marlene's voice accused. "You're a muggleborn _Gryffindor…_how could you?" Viv and Marly were always slightly outside Lily and Mary' friendship, close, but not close enough. Lily realised suddenly, that they weren't close enough to each other either. Viv was close to tears.

Lily opened her mouth, but Mary beat her to it. "Drop it Marlene. Viv's brave in her own way…She'll do what she believes is right."

Marlene turned, also close to tears. "I came back for her! For Lily!" Marlene had once confessed that the sorting hat had wanted her in Hufflepuff. She had asked it if she could be with her friends from the train instead. "He'll kill them unless we fight!"

Mary shook her head. "There's more than one way to fight Marly. Not all of them man jumping in front of killing curses."

Lily nodded, tears clogging her throat "I'll be in battle with you Marly, you know that, but let Viv choose her own way to fight." The carriages jolted to a halt. Lily clambered out, offering Viv a small smile.

Mary climbed out next, leaving the other two alone.

They appeared only seconds later, both smiling shyly.

Lily smiled cheekily at them all. "Shall we have some light-hearted chatter over dinner then?"

They nodded, still not quite understanding the view of the other, but very glad not to be fighting.

They chattered nonsensically as they sat at Gryffindor table, laughingly quizzing Viv on her latest boy, smiling and waving at students they hadn't seen on the train. They carefully ignored the gaps left at each table. Students had been withdrawn even from Slytherin, and the Great Hall seemed sparsely populated if compared with its usual overflow.

The Marauders were the last to enter, sitting, to both Lily and Remus' irritation, only a few seats from the girls.

"What is it Lil?" Mary could always tell when something was bothering her.

She shrugged in reply, grateful for the entrance of the first years, and for the accompanying hush.

The Sorting Hat, already placed on its stool, began to sing. Lily leaned forward to listen, but received a sharp elbow jab to her ribs before she the second line. Obviously disgruntled, she turned to Viv. "What?"

"Why do you bother listening? It says the same bloody thing every time!"

Marly, overhearing, nodded quickly, eager to avoid any sort of confrontation.

It was true, Lily mused. Although the words had changed, the message of the song had been the same since first year: Hogwarts needed to unite, to love and to forgive, or it will fall. But then, why would the hat change its song when no one was listening?

Professor McGonagall unrolled a parchment as the hat fell silent. "When I call your name, please come forward and place the Sorting Hat on your head. Once you have been sorted, proceed to your new house table! Aldridge, Ben!"

The scrawny boy scurried to hat, tugging it tightly about his ears. In only a few seconds he became the year's first new Gryffindor.

Lily joined in the cheering enthusiastically, stopping only when Professor McGonagall spoke again.

Anderson, Tobin's sorting was greeted with hisses and boos instead of cheering. Stumbling, terrified, to his feet, he headed towards the Slytherin table. He hadn't made it half way before he tripped, a white flash of light looping about his feet, clearly sent from the Ravenclaw table. He looked close to tears as the hall filled with laughter.

Lily was silent, shocked that her friends and housemates could be so unfeeling. Amanda, the head girl, was making no effort to restore order at the Ravenclaw table, let alone to find the perpetrator. Before Lily could think of anything to do, Dumbledore stood.

"Silence!" He shot three purple firecrackers into the air, their explosions reverberating around the newly silent hall. "This is not how we welcome students to Hogwarts." His blue eyes were missing their usual twinkle, but he showed no other sign of anger. "I expect whoever cast the spell to approach Professor Flitwick for the details of your detention. I'm also taking 20 points from Ravenclaw." Smoothing his long beard, he sat calmly at the staff table.

The rest of the sorting passed uneventfully, Dumbledore standing again as Zabini, Aurelie (a very pretty girl) was put into Ravenclaw. "Good, good!" He said, genially looking around the hall. "We are in the midst of dark times, and each and every student here is worth even more in the light of our losses." He paused, a sad smile on his face, "Whether or not our missing students had a choice in the matter, they will be sorely missed. And there whereabouts can be blamed on one person alone: Voldemort."

There was a rush of whispers, reaching a rather loud volume. While a few people still said his name, a larger number had begun calling him 'You-Know-Who'. Lily had found it confusing the first time she had heard it, but as the name Voldemort became less common, it became much more frightening.

"Despite this," Dumbledore continued, talking loudly over the murmurs, "or perhaps, because of this," he said, looking directly at Marlene, "we are all here, eager to learn. We have stringent security measures in place, including increased teacher and prefect patrols after curfew. First Years, the Forbidden Forest and the Whomping Willow are both out of bounds at all times. Hogsmeade restrictions will also be monitored much more closely this year." He clapped twice, his sudden joviality at odds to his previous manner. "And now, I have great pleasure in announcing our new Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher!" He gestured at a young woman on his left. "This is Professor Tracy Griffin."

She waved at the students' polite round of applause.

"Wonderful!" Dumbledore exclaimed, bringing their attention back. "And now we feast!"

The magical arrival of so much food never ceased to amaze Lily. She turned, grinning at her friends, "I _still_ love magic!" She said, happily serving roast vegetables onto her plate.

Every year, at the start of the feast, she said the same thing. And every year, Amy would laugh and say, 'You say that every year!' It was a longstanding joke.

Viv broke the expectant silence. "She didn't come back this year. Neither did Erica." Then she added softly, "We'll be the only ones in the dorm this year."

The girls nodded at each other. They knew it of course, but it hadn't really registered.

Mary gave a tentative smile. "We'll get to sleep in..?"

Erica and Amy, their roommates, if not their friends, got up obscenely early.

Mary gave up on humour as a bad job. "Chris, Zac and Rob left too."

"So the Marauders have their own dorm then?" Marly grinned, "Bet they enjoy that!"

Lily laughed suddenly, "Ooh! Can't you just imagine the raunchy evenings? Sirius and Remus, definitely!"

"Since when do you call him Sirius?" Mary asked archly. "Besides, I think they'd use the room for an illegal fight ring…"

The girls laughed. "Alright!" Lily smirked. "Who'd win then? Out of all the Marauders?"

The other three replied simultaneously, all with utmost confidence.

"Remus!"

"Black."

"Pettigrew!"

"Pettigrew?!?" They all turned to look at Vivianne, glancing occasionally to where the smallest and chubbiest Marauder was scraping his plate clean.

"I just think he's sneaky! He'd trick them, you know? And they'd never see it coming."

"Rubbish!" Marlene declared, confidently turning to the Marauders. "Black! C'mere!"

The two 3rd years sitting between them scrambled hurriedly out of the way as Sirius slid along the bench, towards the girls. Marly pushed his sleeves up to his shoulders, ignoring both the other boys' astonishment and her friends' embarrassment. "Beater's arms!" She said triumphantly. "Seriously! Poke his biceps. Those weeds wouldn't have a chance!" She gestured dismissively down the table. Marlene had become the other Gryffindor beater in fourth year. She still brought quidditch into every possible conversation.

"No way!" Mary shook her head, turning to Lily. "You're judging…Remus would kick his arse…he's got that whole…'inner beast' thing happening."

Vivianne and Marlene laughed. Neither of them knew about Remus' lycanthropy. "It's true," Mary maintained, "he's weedy, but he's strong!"

"I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult." Remus said amongst the laughter.

"Well!" Sirius flicked his hair out of his eyes. "It's definitely an insult to me! Arm wrestle, Moony, here and now!"

"Hang on! What about Pete and me?" James wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Lily. "Will no fair maiden defend out honours?"

"Actually, I thought Peter would win."

Silence once again greeted Viv's statement. Peter turned a faint pink.

James' casual arm fell from around Peter's shoulders in surprise. "Wait a second!" James looked around indignantly. "None of you girls thought I'd win? I'm quidditch captain!" Then, more to himself, "I'm strong." He was pouting.

Dinners all over the Great Hall disappeared, being replaced by succulent fruits and chocolate-y puddings. Peter reached immediately for a particularly scrumptious-looking apple pie. He cut it deftly into 8 pieces, serving himself, and then passing around the plate.

Lily put the last piece neatly onto her plate and leaned inelegantly over Mary for the ice cream.

Marlene opened her mouth twice before finally speaking. "I know we said no serious talk at dinner," her eyes found each of the girls', "but I wanna know what the guys think?" She was obviously asking permission to continue.

Lily watched Mary and Viv nod, feeling her stomach sink. She didn't want to have to think about the death and destruction going on. And she still hadn't told her friends that she had been at Diagon Alley when it was attacked.

"So? What did your parents say?" Marly was looking at James intently.

"Er, about what?" James, Lily thought, looked almost sheepish, melted ice cream on his lips.

"Honestly Prongs!" Peter, having cleaned his plate, was leaning forward, tensed. "About the main attacks."

Lily's head shot up from the fork she was fiddling with. "Attacks? You didn't say there were big ones!" Her voice was sharper than she meant for it to be.

Mary blinked at her, nodding finally. "I forgot. I assume everyone just," she gave an awkward shrug, "heard about them."

Lily smiled tightly. "Yeah. Coz my muggle friends know all the details."

Mary glanced around, as thought hoping someone else would speak. "They attacked Tinworth, at the start of summer." She swallowed, her voice wavering. "They- they killed- you remember Timon Bones? Head boy when we started?"

Lily nodded, eyes wide. "He's- He's not-?"

Mary shook her head. "His brother, Edgar. Edgar's wife too, and their kids. They weren't even old enough for Hogwarts. And- and others. 25 dead. But the papers say it was all to get Edgar…"

Lily was horrified. She had never met Edgar Bones, or his family, nor did she know anyone else in Tinworth. But Lily felt things deeply. Brave to the point of stupidity, especially when defending someone else, she took losses hard. "I-" Lily took a deep breath, trying to get herself under control. "What about the other attack?"

The boys exchanged confused glances. Sirius finally broke the silence. "Diagon Alley, Yesterday."

Lily let her breath out. "Thank God."

"Thank God?" Marly was angry. "There are 40 dead, hundreds injured. Diagon Alley won't ever be the same!"

Lily shook her head. "I didn't mean…I just, I knew about Diagon. I thought there was another…I'm sorry Marlene."

"My Aunt was there." The voice was soft, unlike Marlene. "The aurors saved her but…"

Lily reached a hand across the table. "Marly-" She swallowed. She had to tell them. "I know. I was, I was there."

The others had been concentrating on their empty plates, trying to give the two some privacy, but they started at Lily's confession.

Mary, as always, broke the silence. "You didn't say."

Lily shook her head. "I was with my Mum. You know I didn't go shopping with you lot?" Lily was the one looking at her plate. "Well, I didn't go till yesterday. I-"

"But you're…well. You're never that disorganised!" James was staring at her, eyes bugging slightly.

Lily scowled at him. "For your information Potter, I'm not always organised!" She bit her lip lightly. "I got an A for transfiguration. I was upset…couldn't face buying my books…didn't even know what books to buy." She met their eyes, her voice hardening. "I'll never go late again. It was… It was awful."

Vivianne met Lily's eyes and saw something in them. She too was muggleborn. She could understand some of Lily's fears. She knew Lily didn't want to talk about it. "Why those places though? Where is Tinworth?"

James answered. "It's in Cornwall, that's not important though. They say it was because Edgar was fighting him, but that doesn't explain the whole town. Mum and Dad, they say he's targeting famous locations. Increases fear…"

"What happened in Tinworth?" Lily frowned, sure she'd never heard of the place.

"It's famous for its metal work. Every witch dreams of a Tinworth engagement ring." Mary's eyes glistened. "It was beautiful, the town. It's on the beach…and all the cottages have pretty names: Urchin, Coral, Shell…we used to go there for holidays sometimes."

More silence.

Remus spoke to James, his voice hoarse. "Where do your parents think he'll target next?"

James shrugged, screwing up his face. "Dunno. Godrics' Hollow." He looked at the table, worried about his folks. They had been brilliant aurors, but they were both old now. "Maybe not. Could be Hogsmeade, or Queerditch Marsh…it could be anywhere."

There silence stretched on this time, each contemplating the effects of so many attacks. All were glad when Dumbledore stood up at the staff table.

"Wonderful. If you would all make your way to your common-rooms…you have to be up bright and early tomorrow!"

The 6th year Gryffindors stood in silence. They were almost out of the hall when Professor Slughorn intercepted them. The rotund potions master was wearing one of his usual, bursting, waistcoats; emerald green, the colour of his house. "Ah! Lily m'dear! You missed lunch on the train, but I'm planning another get together soon! You'll be there of course?"

Lily gritted her teeth, more than irritated at the way he ignored her friends. He would occasionally take notice of Marlene, after a quidditch game, but he had never acknowledged the other two.

"Oho! And Mr. Potter! And Mr. Black! Yes, yes…you'll both be there too?"

James grinned. "You know us Professor!" He grinned mischievously at Sirius. "We're always there!"

Lily irritated at not only James' arrogance, but also his apparent disregard for his own friends feelings, scoffed loudly.

"Got something to say Lily-flower?"

She smiled sweetly, "Please Potter, call me Evans." She smirked slightly at his surprised face, before turning and heading to Gryffindor tower.


	7. Charming Friends

Hey Guys! Sorry this chapter has been so long! I've been absolutely overwhelmed with uni work. I've tried to make this a little bit longer, as I've had a few reviews saying that I should. However, my little sister is of the opinion that I should write shorter chapters...so any and all advise is much appreciated! (about other stuff to, not just length :D) Hope you enjoy!

Rach

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**7. Charming Friends**

When Lily woke up the next morning, it took her a moment to place the plush red hangings of her Hogwarts bed. When she finally did, rolling out of bed with a grin on her face, her joy was short lived.

"The others have gone downstairs," Mary said, making her way out of the fogged up bathroom. "You'll miss breakfast unless you hurry."

Lily groaned slightly, staggering over to her trunk. She had been so tired last night, she hadn't bothered putting anything away. She had toppled onto her bed as soon as she'd pried off her trainers.

Tugging her school robes out of the jumble of her possessions, she smiled hopefully at her best friend. "Will you wait for me? 10 minutes, tops!"

Mary eyed her incredulously. "No way will you be ready in ten minutes!" Then, furrowing her brow against further entreaty, she said firmly, "I'm going down in five. You can come if you're ready."

Lily, who was regularly deeply involved in a book in the morning, was well practised when it came to asking her friends to wait for her. She was also something of a master when it came to speedy dressing. These two facts combined meant that 7 minutes and 24 seconds later Lily was half jogging after Mary. She held her shoes in her left hand, the other was trying to ineffectually straighten her hair.

"Mary! Would you slow down?" They were rapidly approaching the last set of stairs, and Lily was hopping, trying to hurry, and to put her trainers on at the same time.

Mary merely sniffed in reply.

Busy fiddling with the laces of her first shoe, she missed a step. She tumbled down the remaining four, landing with a thump at the bottom.

"Lily!" Mary was immediately back at her side. "Merlin Lil, are you ok?"

Lily grimaced slightly as she sat up, Mary's worried face looming over her. She nodded. "I'm ok, just a little bruised." She slipped her feet quickly into her shoes, and pushed herself up, off the stairs. "Turns out shoes are easier to put on sitting down. Who knew?"

Mary, her morning's patience well and truly worn out, tossed up her arms, and strode into the Great Hall.

Lily hurried after her, still smirking slightly. Her friends were, much to her disgust, sitting close to the boys and talking animatedly about which classes they were going to take. Instead of making a fuss, Lily grabbed a piece of toast from the pile and concentrated on eating quickly.

"I want to do healing," Viv said. "I've never been that great at Defence, but this way I'm still helping people, you know?"

Sirius nodded, "James' been thinking 'bout healing too. What d'ya need for it then?"

"Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. I need at least E's in all of them."

"Blimey!" Marly looked up from her bacon and eggs in astonishment. "That's as bad as what I need for auror training."

James, grimacing slightly, agreed.

Sirius was laughingly outlining his and Peter's plan for a pub when breakfast disappeared off the tables. Before Mary and Lily could do more than share exasperated, and hungry, glances, Professor McGonagall had arrived from the staff table, carrying their class schedules.

"Right then. Miss Krane, lets begin with you."

Vivianne smiled easily. "I think my marks are alright, aren't they Professor?"

McGonagall allowed a small smile to escape and tapped a blank piece of parchment with her wand. "Just double checking that you're still set on healing. There you go."

Viv grinned as she examined her classes, but, to Lily's dismay, appeared to be waiting for her friends. Lily did not want to discuss her subject options in front of everyone. Mary, also looking at the table, seemed to fel the same way.

James was quickly cleared for the same subjects, seeming equally set on waiting for his mates.

"Mr Black?" McGonagall looked sternly at him over her glasses. "I don't suppose you've given anymore thought to your carer choice since you decided on," her mouth made a small moue of distaste, "bar-tending?"

Sirius' wide-eyed innocence stood up to Professor McGonagall's glaring for only a few seconds. Rolling his eyes he grinned up at her. "Alright, Alright! Pete and I were thinking about curse-breaking instead."

She nodded, about to hand his timetable over when Sirius interrupted, suddenly hard-faced. "I'd like to take a Muggle Studies NEWT too, if I can."

Lily blinked, almost as shocked as the transfiguration Professor. She wondered, sadly, if Sirius would ever feel that he had truly escaped his family.

"Of course Black. So that's Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Charms, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies." He nodde,d, but before she could pass over both his and Peter's (slightly emptier) timetables, Peter spoke.

"Professor? I- uh, I'd like to continue with potions. You know, if I –uh, can?" The slightly chubby boy's nervous demeanour was hugely different to that of his friends.

Professor McGonagall frowned slightly. "That's six subjects Peter. NEWTS are very challenging-"

"B- B- But Sirius is-"

"Mr Black is, and always has been, most talented with his wand. If he applies himself, he is _more_ than capable." Her nostrils flared slightly as she looked at Peter. "You, on the other hand…" She trailed off slightly. "It's charms that you have the most trouble in, perhaps if you-"

"We'll help him Professor," Remus interceded on behalf of his friend, "with the charms. And Pete's rather good at Potions and Arithmancy."

"He has the marks." Sirius and James were sitting straight in their seats, obviously annoyed.

"Very well, Pettigrew. But if, as I suspect, you need to drop a subject, please come and find me. Without your friends!" Still obviously annoyed, she turned to face Marly. "Miss McKinnon? You still ant to be an aurur?"

Marly nodded firmly. "Yes Professor. Charms, Transfiguration, Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts. And Runes as my fifth please."

Professor McGonagall nodded, obviously unsurprised by Marly's choices. She handed over the newly filled timetable. "So that leaves the more difficult Mr Lupin, Miss Evans and Miss MacDonald." She looked at May. "Have you got your choices ready?"

Mary blushed slightly, pink creeping into her pale cheeks. "I-, I'm still not really sure yet…" She tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"Honestly! It is not that difficult MacDonald! What do you want to do after school?"

"What do I-? I really don't see how that's relevant Professor!" Mary's voice shook slightly, but her face was hard. Lily quickly placed her hand on Mary's.

"Not relevant! Miss MacDonald I-"

Mary snatched her hand back from Lily, standing angrily. "Yes not relevant! I want to get married, and have kids! I want to run a shop. Sell books, or have an apothecary, or- But that's not relevant! Coz there's a _war_ on Professor," Mary looked down slightly, lowering her voice again. "There's a war on. So I'll learn what I'm told, and I'll fight where I'm needed. But don't ask me what I _want_."

Lily stood, moving quickly to stand close by. She didn't try to touch her friend, but Mary leaned in towards Lily, drawing strength as she took a deep breath.

"Potions." Her eyes were closed, her voice strained as she got herself under control again. "Potions, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures and Defence against the Dark Arts," she said, her mouth quirking slightly at the irony.

Professor McGonagall opened her mouth slowly. Lily, unsure whether she was going to apologise or assign a detention (you could never quite tell with Professor McGonagall), spoke first.

"Me next." Her voice wobbled slightly as she looped an arm around Mary's waist, smiling as her friend, her sister, sagged into her. "Potions of course! And Charms. And Runes, Arithmancy and History of Magic." Lily bit her lip slightly.

"History of Magic! You've got to be kidding! You'll be the only one in the bloody class!"

Lily didn't bother replying to Potter. "Er, Professor?" She could already see the sympathy on McGonagall's face, but she had to ask anyway. "I- I-" she sighed, holding Mary tighter, drawing strength this time. "I wanted to do Transfiguration. I- I know I don't have the marks but" she couldn't meet her teacher's eyes.

"I'm sorry Miss Evans. I'm well aware that you know the coursework, but I don't accept people with less than an E…"

Lily smiled tightly, keeping careful control of her temper. Mary had already lost it this morning, and none of it was Professor McGonagall's fault. "I understand. I- uh, I just thought maybe, I dunno, if I had a tutor or something…" her voice trailed off.

"Miss Evans, " Professor McGonagall said, her face softening slightly. "You don't need a tutor. If it weren't for," her gaze flicked to the boys, hardening imperceptibly, "certain circumstances, we both know you would have gotten an O." She sighed. "I'm sorry Lily, even if we had any tutors available…I couldn't…"

Lily did her best to smile, knowing that it came out as more of a grimace. "It's alright Pro-"

"I'll do it."

Every head in the vicinity swivelled towards Sirius Black.

He smirked, sweeping his fringe casually to one side. "I'll tutor Evans. She knows most of it anyway, and Transfiguration is my best sub-"

"Black!" Any softness in McGonagall's face disappeared. "I don't know who you think you are! I do not accept anyone with les than an E into my NEWT classes, whether you involve yourself or not! Especially when it was _your_ fault in-"

"It's ok." Lily didn't move her eyes from Sirius. For all that he had smirked as he offered his services, and for all that his face set in amused disdain while McGonagall yelled, there had been a moment when guilt, and hurt, flashed across his face. "It's ok," she said again, meeting his eyes. She gave him a tentative smile, before turning back to her Professor. "Could I have my timetable please?"

Then, smiling encouragingly at Remus (she was angry at him, but he looked _so_ pale, she led her still quivering friend back to their dorm.

After walking Mary to Herbology, Lily made her way to the library. Instead of relaxing like the other sixth years with a free period, she sat alone at a back table, 2 thick texts in front of her. However, for all her seeming work ethic, she was simply sitting, straight backed, staring at her timetable.

"Whaddaya doing in the library?" Marlene asked, plonking down beside her. "It's the first class of the year. You can't possibly have homework!"

"Hey Marly." Lily smiled, obviously amused. "I'm working out my timetable." She shook her head, bewildered. "I have three free classes today. _Three_!"

Madame Pince, the middle-aged librarian, glared at Lily as she walked past.

"She hates you." Marly whispered.

"I dunno why. I'm a straight O student. Well, almost. She should love me!"

"Miss Evans!" Madam Pince was back, leaning over their table, and scowling in a way that, Lily was sure, was responsible for her immature wrinkles.

"She hates you," Marly murmered again as the Librarian swooped off to chastise an unfortunate seventh year, "because you're noisy, and fun, and a million times prettier than she ever was."

By this time, both girls were smothering laughter.

Lily finally got herself under control enough to say, in a broken whisper, "Guess that explains why she likes you then…"

Marly, after taking a playful swipe at Lily's arm, remembered her original question. "So what are you doing then?" She pulled Lily's book towards her.

Lily, ignoring her momentarily, began quickly filling in her timetable's empty slots.

"Lily?! Why do you have these?"

Lily looked up., sighing. "Well, I'm, uh, learning wandless magic." She aimed a smile at her friend. "And I'm timetabling it in, so I have no excuse for procrastinating."

Marlene, instead of responding, grabbed Lily's timetable from the desk in front of her.

Lily winced. "And, um, and I'm teaching myself NEWT level Transfiguration too. I, uh-"

"Mental! Mad as Wendelin the Weird you are!"

Lily blushed, but looked pleadingly at Marlene. "I don't suppose that I could copy your notes?"

Marlene, after gaping like a fish for a good 30 seconds, finally spoke. "Ask Viv. My writing looks like chicken scratchings. And even if you use your rune decipher-ing skills," she smirked slightly, "they still don't make sense."

Lily laughed. Marly, like herself, was an Outstanding Ancient Runes student. Unlike Lily, Marly claimed it was because she practised reading the unreadable whenever she had to read her handwriting.

"Alright then. I've still got 40 minute of my spare left, and I want to do some reading, yeah?"

Marly grinned, obviously not in the least insulted. "Oh! You wound me Lily!" The two were capable of going on like this for hours, one increasingly blunt, the other increasingly melodramatic. "I merely craved your company after an anguished summer apart-"

"Marly."

"-and I find you jilting me for," she paused, checking the book in front of her, "_Wandless Magic for Dummies _by Sirius Lee Thicke. You've got to be kidding! Who has a name li-"

"Actually, I'm jilting you for _The Magic Within: The Theory of Controlled, Wandless Magic._ Bugger off will you?"

Marlene gave a sorrowful gasp, and staggered towards the exit. She was obviously in the midst of a very painful, and fake, death. Lily, still laughin to herself, opened her book to the first page.

_An Introduction to Wandless Magic_

_Despite the fact that wizarding children often use wandless magic, it takes much study and dedication to become a true master. While neither are truly __necessary__, it is highly recommended that before you begin attempting magic wandlessly, you make some attempt at both non-verbal spells as well as ley-line visibility. To aid in this process, the first few chapters of this text are dedicated to the basics of those topics. If you are already proficient in them, please skip to chapter 3._

Lily blinked slightly, and re-read the paragraph. While she could cast non-verbals spells, it had taken a year's hard work, and she still took a few tries for most spells (her stunner and shield were exceptions). As far as Ley-Lines were concerned, she had read a minute amount about them last year, but she _definitely_ couldn't see them. Sighing she returned back to the book.

_Before proceeding any further, you must be warned. Truly studying wandless magic involves much danger. There is a greatly increased risk that when emotionally charged (and not yet having mastered wandless magic) you lose control of your magic. This can result (in extreme cases) in in magical exhaustion, and even death. While it is not required, we recommend that you learn occlumency concurrently, in order to protect yourself and those around you._

Lily quickly scanned the remaining four pages of the introduction; they did nothing more than repeat and rephrase the same warning. Sev and Lily had tried to learn occlumency together. While he was naturally talented, Lily had never managed more than the simplest of blocks. Her emotions were always too close to the surface.

Frowning, and unsure of the best course of action, Lily flipped to chapter 2. Professor Flitwick had done nothing but encourage her last year…and yet, if she lost control of her magic…

Shaking her head firmly (after all, as a child she had done little more than play with flowers!) she returned to her reading.

_Ley Lines are at the base of all magic: the manipulation of them by incantations, potions, and even magical plants and animals, result in the manipulation of the world. Potions are generally used for more complex and subtle permutations than say, transfiguration. The reasons for this, while fascinating, relate more closely to arithmancy, and are not covered until chapter 12._

Lily rubbed her eyes. Maybe she should have started with the book for Dummies? Pulling her exercise book towards her, she began taking careful notes, thoroughly enjoying the smooth feeling of her ballpoint.

_Before one can begin those wandless alterations to the ley lines, it is imperative to learn to see them. It is recommended that the following spell is cast non-verbally. While a wand is not necessary, holding it relaxed in one hand may aid the early castings. The charm (Pareo Verum),is, in itself, only an aid. This feat can be performed with concentration and the focusing of ones mind. It is difficult to explain the manner of viewing the world that allows you to see beyond mere physical manifestations, to the magical core within. While the ley lines are visible, do not attempt to move them without reading further. To end the charm, simply release your focus._

Lily's scowl had been darkening the entire way through the chapter. Lily had focus and determination in spades, but she had been warned about being emotional. And it had always been Sev, and even Mary, that could focus without linking it to their emotions.

She turned the page, studying the picture shown there. It was a forest, but instead of looking like any forest Lily had ever seen, this one was made up of glistening silver strands. They were too thin to have any colour where they criss-crossed in the air, but when they converged into the trunk of a tree, or the heart of an owl, they were a twisted silver.

Lily never knew how long she spent staring at the glinting forest, but the bell rang before she had a chance to even try the spell. Shaking her head as though trying to wake herself, she gathered her books together, and, after checking her timetable, headed towards the charms classroom.

She was, surprisingly, met at the door by Remus. "Lily! Listen, about patrols, are there any days you can't do?"

Lily looked at him coolly for a second, knowing exactly what was coming. She often wondered if claiming that she too needed the night of the full moon off would break through his outer shell. "Nope. I'm all good."

"Right, of course. I, uh, I'm going to need the 16th off; my Aunt Lizzie's getting married and-"

Lily looked at him disdainfully. "How odd. I thought your Aunt Lizzie died in fourth year." She turned, slipping into her usual seat, beside Mary. Honestly, could the boy not even keep track of his fake relatives? How he thought no one knew was beyond her.

Ignoring his stuttered explanations ("Oh, no, that, uh, that was my, uh, Great Aunt Lizzie. Named after her though. The younger one that is…"), Lily smiled at Mary. "How was Herbology?"

Grinning, apparently recovered from this morning, Mary replied easily. "Good actually. Not as good as a class off, but you know I've always liked plants."

"True. You should've been named after the flower."

Mary gave her a disgruntled look. "That wasn't even funny. Honestly Lil, losing your touch."

"Alright class!" Professor Flitwick was seated at his desk, the usual pile of books beneath him, adding some height to the diminutive man. "I'm going to make it an easy first class for you, just some revision." His voice was squeaky, oddly childlike when compared to his wrinkled face. "I want you to pair up, and practice _silencio_. It's the same sharp jab, for people too." He clapped his hands twice, then, hopping off his chair, began to make his way around the group.

Lily sighed, turning to Mary. "You wanna go first?"

"Nah. May as well have you master it," she said, "then I can have the rest of the lesson."

In actual fact, Mary was quite good at Charms, but Lily was something of a prodigy. It was the same way Potter was for Transfiguration, that Sev, no. That _Snape _was for Potions.

"Alright. _Silencio!_ Did it work?"

Mary mouthed silently.

Lily laughed, "Guess so then." She waved her wand easily over her friend. "_Ordinarius._"

"Trust you to get it first shot. _Silencio!_"

Lily shrugged, ready to explain that they _had_ done the spell last year. She found, however, that she was unable to speak.

"Hah! I did it too! Brilliant!" Mary grinned. "And Potter and Black haven't yet. And neither-"

Lily waved one silenced hand in front of Mary's face.

"-has Marly, or Viv! Remus has, of course. And Snape, git. But-"

Lily stared at her friend. Seriously, how long could she talk for on her own? Rolling her eyes, Lily pointed her wand at herself. '_Ordinarius_.' She opened her mouth- nothing. '_Ordinarius.'_ Still nothing.

"-Ooh, look, even Stebbins hasn't, and he's a Ravenclaw! I love-"

Scowling, and concentrating just how much she'd like her voice back, she waved her wand at her neck. '_Ordinarius!' _And it worked. "Mary you great prat! You left me silenced. You do realise that you just monologued! For 5 minutes!"

Mary looked at her for a second, cocking her head so that her straight black hair streamed to one side. "But you're talking? Didn't it work?"

Lily looked at her for a second. "I unsilenced myself. Eventually. Non-verbally," she added, at Mary's still slightly blank expression.

"Show off." Mary said petulantly. "_Silencio!"_

Lily, annoyed by now, glared at Mary, mouthing quite a few profanities.

"Good! So, as I was saying, I love it when Gryffindors beat-"

Lily's wand jabbed. '_Silencio!' _She grinned as Mary's mouth kept moving. It was like, she thought happily, pressing mute on the TV, except much more satisfying. Mary didn't look pleased.

Lily grabbed a piece of paper suddenly, scribbling to Mary. _Wanna silence other people? Flitwick can't blame us, we can't even say the incantation…_

Mary skimmed the note, before giving Lily a measuring look. She nodded.

The two of them spent a highly enjoyable lesson, irritating the hell out of everyone else in the room. It hadn't taken Mary long to get the hang of casting a silent _silencio_, and once she had it, she delighted in driving Marly and Viv (who were also partners) to distraction. The best part, in Lily's opinion, was that every time a student had gotten Professor Flitwick's attention, they would give them back their voices.

As all the other Gryffindors had transfiguration next, Mary and Lily headed to the library. Lily had been planning to spend the time studying her own Transfiguration, but with Mary sitting beside her, both still on a high from Charms, she couldn't quite bring herself to. Their good moods were still lingering at lunch time, with the two girls smirking knowingly at each other every time one of their friends wondered about the prank.


	8. Duelling Opinions

A/N. Hey guys!

Sorry this chapter took so long. My older sister died about a month ago, and I haven't felt like writing. Um, I don't think it's quite up to scratch, but I figure I can come and redo it later if I want. Hope you like it.

One paragraph in this fic has inspired a series of drabbles, which I'm in the process of writing, about the marauders. It's all set in the same universe, but the drabbles will reach from just before first year, until the Halloween of '81. It's called 'Unpaid Debts'.

Read and Review as always!

Rach

* * *

**8. Duelling Opinions**

It wasn't until that afternoon, in double Potions, that Lily's mood dropped. Shivering as she entered the much cooler dungeons, Lily turned automatically, as she had for the last 5 years, to the second table on the right. Sev and Lily had always sat together during Potions, even when they were fighting. If Lily had thought about it, she would have decided that this fight, this estrangement, was different. But she hadn't. So the sight of Sev's and Mulciber's heads together at _their_ table made her stomach freeze, and her smile disappear.

"Lil?" Confused by Lily's sudden silence, Mary looked around for what had caught her friend's attention. "Oh, Lil," she sighed. Sitting down with Marly and Viv, she patted the seat next to her. "Come on then." She cocked her head towards the other girls, "This way we get to utilize your knowledge!"

Lily gave a weak smile, and sat, unable to explain her melancholy. It had been her, after all, that had refused to mend their friendship.

"Wonderful, wonderful!" Professor Slughorn entered the dungeon, his jiggling belly preceding him. "Welcome, all of you, to NEWT level potions! Now, ordinarily I make some samples of especially exciting potions for your first lesson, but I simply haven't had time this year. I've been helping one of my old students, Damocles, with his submission for entry to the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers." He looked around impressively. "Yes! Damocles always was a favourite of mine…had as much talent as Mr Snape, or Miss Evans here!" He beamed genially at them both. Lily looked hard at her desk, sure that Sev was scowling just as hard as she was blushing.

"So I'm afraid you'll all just have to take my word for it, that potions are capable of astonishing things! We'll be brewing a Draught of the Living Death today, and you'll have to make do with a block of honeydukes finest as a prize."

Lily's heart wasn't in her potion making that afternoon. Smiling sadly as she crushed her sopophorous beans, she remembered when she and Sev had discovered the more effective technique. She had suggested it, saying that her mother always crushed garlic: cutting it never got out as much juice. Sev had sneered at the idea of a muggle knowing anything about potions. Well, he sneered until he saw her potion change colour before his. How could she have ignored his disdain for so long?

Shaking her head, as though to dislodge the memory, she added a few extra drops of hellebore to her potion, forcing herself to record it in a neat copperplate script. Her book looked odd without Sev's thick, spiky additions, and it felt equally odd that she wasn't writing in his book as well. She looked back, turning quickly to her potion again when he met her eyes. She was concentrating so hard on not looking at her old friend, she barely noticed her friends passing her new instructions onto James and Peter. Sev noticed, though he couldn't see what the changes were.

Sev had always known when to add a random anticlockwise stir, or to let the potion sit for an extra 268 seconds. Lily could work it out of course, but where he did it instinctively, it took her a few pages of complicated arithmancy. He, she realised, must be feeling just as lost as she was. If Sev knew the best way to _mix_ the ingredients, Lily knew what to add. It was fun for her to add boomslang skin, or geranium stems, just because it felt right. It reminded her of cooking with her Mum when she was little. Sev, who's mother, she thought darkly, had certainly never allowed him to choose which spices to put in dinner, had no idea what would cause an explosion, and what could reduce a side effect of nausea.

When, at the end of the lesson, James Potter was given the block of chocolate (Lily's potion was emitting purple sparks- she had gotten lost in memories at a _very_ inappropriate time), Sev stayed behind and remade his. And that time, instead of watching Lily's hair slowly escape her bun, he would concentrate on his potion.

Lily, who could not see into his mind, knew only that when she left with her friends, exhausted, he stayed, still scowling at the congealed mess in his cauldron.

Sirius appeared suddenly in the corridor, knowing, like all the marauders, where exactly, in a seven-story castle, his friends were. Helping himself to some of James' chocolate, he looked far more pleased than Lily felt was warranted. "Thanks James! I owe you one!" Lily remembered the glee with which Sirius had said this phrase in first year. It had slowly relaxed into nothing more than a habit, but it seemed that the last six months had reignited Sirius' enthusiasm.

James rolled his eyes indulgently. "No debts between friends, mate." Lily was trying to fathom why Sirius' grin had grown at James' lacklustre response, when James offered the chocolate to her. "Lil- Er, Evans? I mean, it was your suggestions that won it for me…"

He looked decidedly nervous, and hadn't actually said anything ridiculous. More importantly, Lily could _really_ do with some chocolate. Comfort eating was taken to a whole new level by honeydukes.

* * *

That evening, after Ancient Runes, all Lily wanted was to crawl into bed. It seemed the attack, and subsequent fight, at Diagon Alley had exhausted her. However, upon clambering through the portrait hole, she was met with a faceful of papers.

"Marly said you wanted my transfiguration notes!" Viv was standing in front of her, elfin features lit up by her smile.

Unable to say what she wanted, (after all, she really _should_ be grateful), Lily merely opened and closed her mouth, not making a sound.

"I'll just imagine that you thanked me profusely, shall I?"

Lily laughed tiredly, before plopping into her favourite armchair. "I hate Runes."

Sirius sat down opposite her. "Nonsense! Studying for OWLs last year you were all about 'unlocking the magical secrets of the ancients'"

Lily glared balefully at him, and then at James for good measure. James, having already begun work on an essay, was far too energetic for her liking.

"That was last year," she replied finally. "This year the ancients can go hang!"

Sirius laughed delightedly. "You use the most muggle expressions when you're tired!"

Lily ignored him in what she hoped was a dignified manner.

"Why do you have _transfiguration _notes?" Sirius was leaning forward, reading upside down.

Lily continued her dignified silence, scowling at the notes in her hand. She sighed, and pulled a pen and notebook from her bag.

"You have transfiguration notes?" James looked up, a splash of ink on his nose.

Lily rolled her eyes, and went back to studying the theory of human transfiguration, specifically, ears.

"Really Lily, you could be doing something useful…like helping me with this disastrous rune translation, but instead you-"

"What are those?!" James cut his friend off, wonder in his voice.

Lily looked up distractedly. "Wha-?"

"That!" James was staring at her hands. "That's not a quill! I mean, it's not even a feather…but it's writing." He looked up at her, childlike in his awe, a far cry from his usual persona around Lily.

"It's a pen, Potter. Muggles use them to write with."

"Oh." James obviously hadn't bothered to take Muggle Studies. "But, I mean, you know about quills now. Why would you use a," he paused, obviously uncomfortable with the new word, "pen?"

"You're such a _pureblood,_ Prongs!" From Sirius this was something of an insult.

"Wha-? No, I just," he furrowed his brow. "Well, they've even invented a self-inking quill now- I don't see how muggles could compare-"

Lily was fairly angry by then. Sev had been constantly surprised by the intelligence of muggles. "Pens _are _self-inking, you bloody prat! And muggles are clever!"

James, wide-eyed at the turn the conversation had taken, tried to interrupt. "No, Lil-"

"Where as you lot! You use old-fashioned, practically medieval quills! Tell me, do you beat anyone who's left-handed too?"

"Oh, yeah…"

"What!?" Lily stared at James, half sure that he was joking.

"Well, I mean, _some_ families do. They say being left-handed is a sign of a squib…"

Lily gaped for a second, shaking her head, then stood. "You have ink on your nose," she said blankly, before making her way up to bed. As she left, she heard James whispering urgently to Sirius. She didn't care. She'd had all that she could take for the day, didn't even mind that she was going to miss dinner.

* * *

At breakfast the next morning Lily more than made up for the night before's lack of food. Her plate, piled high with bacon and eggs, was attracting more than a few glances.

"What have we got today then?" Viv attacked her pancakes, somehow managing to eat quickly, and with table manners. "I think the whole year has a free first!"

Lily blushed, shaking her head as she swallowed. "Nope. I've got History of Magic. I guess there aren't many people taking it…"

The girls laughed. Professor Binns, the History of Magic teacher, was the only ghost on staff. Even when discussing bloody Goblin wars he managed to put the class to sleep. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility that Lily was the _only_ student taking it as a NEWT.

"Well, anyway. I've got Arithmancy after, and I _know_ that other people are taking that."

Mary gave a shy smile. "I've got Care of Magical Creatures today! Professor Kettleburn's been hinting for years about the creatures we'll do in NEWT…" She sighed dreamily.

Viv laughed. "I guess that's why I'm free practically all day. I just have double Defence Against the Dark Arts this afternoon."

""I wonder what the new professor's like," Lily said musingly. "I haven't heard anyone talking about her…"

"I have." Marly said, suddenly serious. "Zac, one of the Ravenclaw chasers," she added, knowing that Mary didn't follow quidditch, "said she's awful."

"Really?" Viv's eyes were wide. "How?"

"Well, he said she's a good teacher and all, but," she paused, glancing around nervously, "apparently she has it in for muggleborns."

"What!"

"But she can't-"

Lily's voice cut across the chatter. "Does she support Voldemort?"

"I dunno Lil. Zac's only saying what he's heard…but you guys'll be careful, yeah?" She looked anxiously from Lily to Viv, both of whom were more than able to shoot their mouths off.

The two girls nodded slowly, and stole glances at the staff table for the rest of breakfast.

History of Magic was just as boring as everyone predicted. While Lily usually enjoyed hearing about the history of her new world, even she didn't care about how NEWTs evolved, and why they were so important. Arithmancy was marginally better. Professor Pi, a balding, slightly chubby man, had more than one tone. Also, instead of sitting with two impressively intellectual Ravenclaws (as she had that morning), Lily sat between Peter and Sirius. The two boys managed to entertain her even while they napped on their desks- Sirius snored loudly.

She spent her spare in the library, once again hunched over her wandless magic text. Despite immense concentration and extensive repetition, when the bell rang, she hadn't managed to see more than a slight glint out the corner of her eye. Sighing, she hurried to Defence. After all, if Professor Griffin really did hate muggleborns, it wouldn't do to be late.

The other Gryffindor girls didn't seem to feel the same way. When the Professor walked into the classroom, Lily was still sitting alone at an empty table.

"Welcome class. My name is Professor Griffin, and I'm your new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor." The woman at the front of the room looked to be in her mid thirties- young for a teacher at Hogwarts. "As you can see, we have had to split this class into houses, because we have such high enrolment. Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws will have this lesson on Wednesdays. I suggest that you take these classes very seriously. They could well save your life."

As she paused to take a breath, the door swung open. It had been pushed too hard, hitting the wall with a bang.

"Sorry we're late!" Marly announced cheerfully. "We got held up out at the lake!" All three girls were flushed from the outdoors.

Lily glanced from her friends' happy faces, to the scowling face of their Professor. She was watching Mary worriedly when the three girls sat at her table.

"I see." Professor Griffin smiled nastily. "Before you so rudely interrupted, I was explaining to the class the immense importance of learning Defence Against the Dark Arts in these times." As she scanned the class Lily felt a jolt of nerves- Professor Griffin was not going to let it drop this easily. "Some of you will do better than others, some of you will still be alive in 5 years. I will not waste my time. I do not agree with the Dark Lord, but I also do not see the point in teaching muggleborns to defend themselves. You will be targeted, and there is no defence. However, Professor Dumbledore has demanded that I teach you all." She looked directly at the Gryffindors. "I will. But I will not compromise the education of others to do so. Tuesdays will be a practical class, a duelling class. You will be split by your house colours." She clapped twice. "Please line up, red to my left, green to my right."

The Slytherins moved quickly, leaving the Gryffindors gaping in their seats. It was one thing, Lily thought, to know that Voldemort hated you for your blood. It was another thing entirely to be told by a professor that you weren't worth teaching, because you had no chance of survival.

"Gryffindors! Move!" Her voice barked out the order, causing all 8 of them to jump to their feet. "Professors Flitwick and McGonagall have kindly volunteered to help me supervise," she said, gesturing to a shadowed corner.

Lily could clearly see the thin line of McGonagall's lips. Even Flitwick's perpetual smile had faded.

"They will give you advice where they see fit. Now, please pick an opponent from the other- Oh!" She stopped, scanning the students. "We seem to have one too many Lions. One of you will sit out. A muggleborn, obviously." She seemed unaware of the stir she had caused, sifting through a few papers on her desk.

Lily met Viv's eyes. What should she do? She knew from the practice duels in last years Defence classes that Viv would never be much of a dueller. But what does that mean? Should she do as Professor Griffin believed, and give her up for lost, or should she let Viv learn what she could, become as good as possible, and sacrifice her own considerable skills in the process.

"Professor?" Viv was considerably more subdued than 2 minutes ago, when she entered the classroom. "Would it be possible for us to alternate?" She shot a pleading glance at Lily. "That way we can both-"

"No." Professor Griffin's voice was hard. "The only chance you have to survive is to take everything you can! There's no room for Gryffindor nobility or Hufflepuff loyalty in my classroom." Her gaze moved to Lily. "Perhaps you are capable of being what your friend is not? Can you make a ruthless decision?" Her lips quirked, as though, Lily thought, she expected Lily to be unable of making a decision at all.

She smiled coolly. "I'm very decisive, Professor." She ignored Viv's twitch beside her. "I'll sit this class out."

"Li-"

"It's fine Viv." Lily turned, catching the hand of her terrified friend. "You need the practice more than I do." She tried to smile.

"Outrageous!" Professor Flitwick squeaked.

"This is _my_ class, Filius. You are here merely to supervise the students."

"Very well, Tracy, I plan to supervise Miss Evans. I do hope that this meets your approval." His smile was far more smug than usual when he turned towards Lily. "Alright," he waved his wand casually, forming a barrier between them and the other students. "We're doing mock duels, just like last year, but this time we're going to see how you do if your opponent lands a silencing charm. _Silencio!_" He smiled at Lily's shock. "I'll go easy on you, Miss Evans."

Lily blinked, still wrong footed by the recent chain of events. She tried to respond, but only mouthed at him silently.

"Just nod when you're ready." Professor Flitwick was smiling kindly; Lily was, after all, one of his favourite students.

Lily took a deep breath. For the last two years, Defence Against the Dark Arts had involved practice duels, but she had never had to duel a teacher before, let alone Professor Flitwick. It was common knowledge that he had been a world champion dueller in his youth. Breathing a sigh of relief that she had learnt to undo a silencing charm (silently) only the day before, Lily nodded.

She barely had time to raise her wand before Professor Flitwick shot a red beam of light towards her. Her hurried shield charm flickered when the stunner hit it, but held.

Lily smiled, relieved, and waved her wand casually as she thought, '_Ordinarius_'.

The moment that the spell took to cast gave the charms Professor an opening. He used it, sending what looked like a tickling jinx straight at her chest. Lily, her own wand still pointing at her neck, dropped heavily to the floor to avoid the yellow flash.

Ignoring the pain in her knees bought her enough time to point her wand back at her teacher, her shield charm strong enough to deflect Flitwick's disarming jinx. Lily scrambled to her feet as he dodged the ricocheting spell.

She met his gaze, already breathing hard. She didn't notice the wand movement that gave rise to a leg-locker curse, and she was unable to summon the presence of mind to cast a silent shield. "_Protego_!"

Lily smiled at Professor Flitwick's shock, and, if she wasn't mistaken, the pride that glinted in his eyes. It was only as she saw a trio of spells coming towards her that she realised she had given away her only advantage. Her shield held as the first spell collided with it, but faltered with the second. She jumped right to avoid the third, and winced as she felt the energy skim past her ear. When she met his eyes again he was still smiling calmly. She was out of her depth.

She squared her shoulders. She was going down, but she was damned if she'd go down without giving it her best.

"_Stupefy! Tantellegra! Expelliarmus!_" She broke off as Flitwick shielded, easily countering her spells, but not bothering to respond.

She searched her memory as she continued firing. She needed an obscure spell, one he wouldn't expect, that he might not have time to counter. "_Reducto! Accio Wand!_" Nothing. She tried vanishing, hair curling, bludgeoning…he twisted, turned, and conjured shields out of air, all the while looking completely at ease.

Sectumsempra sprung into her mind for a moment; after all, didn't it cut through ordinary shield charms? But it was dark magic, and this was only a game. It gave her an idea though. The toenail hex she had invented with Sev might just work. It had always broken through their shields. "_Aditus Digitalis_"

His eyes widened slightly as it flew towards him, but with a careless wave of his wand his shield, suddenly glowing a faint blue, repelled it. However, it seemed that he had finally decided to fight back. Still casting his spells silently, Professor Flitwick sent streams of colour flashing towards her.

Lily dodged; she shielded; she jumped, and even, on one particularly desperate occasion, sent a spell of her own to deflect a vicious looking purple light. It wasn't enough. Sweating and exhausted, she didn't see the orange beam streaking across the ground until it collided with her foot. Her trainer turned orange. The deadly spells that Lily had been desperately avoiding were colour change charms.

"Patronizing Prat!"

After a moment of shock, he laughed. After all, it wasn't everyday that students insult respected professors. Admittedly, when a student did, it was often Lily, but this time it wasn't just her frustration talking. She used the half-second of distraction to fling a stinging hex at him. He sidestepped at the last minute, the hex whizzing past him, but it scorched his sleeve.

"Wonderful Miss Evans!" His voice, while still squeaky, was not at all out of breath. "A shade quicker and you'd have had me!" He looked positively delighted as he lowered his wand and gestured her towards the rest of her class.

She scowled. "Wonderful?" Aside from the small scorch on his sleeve, he looked as though he had just been for a walk in the park. She, on the other hand, was red faced and panting. She could feel sweat beaded on her forehead, and could see the strands of hair that had once again managed to escape her bun. One of her sneakers was _orange_.

He smiled happily at her, all of three feet tall. "Yes, yes! 10 points to Gryffindor! I don't think I've ever had a student land a spell on me before. To have you do it as a sixth year, and the first time we've ever duelled? One of the best attempts I've seen at Hogwarts!"

Lily forced a smile, but she knew the truth of what Professor Griffin had said now. Being the best dueller at Hogwarts wasn't enough. Beating Bellatrix Black wasn't enough. Not if she wanted to survive.

* * *

So I hope you liked it! And please review if you have time!  
Rach


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